Even strong people need support sometimes.

I remember a time when I was going through so much that I truly thought I would break. We had gone through our 4th or 5th failed adoption, and we had to put our beloved dog of 16 years to sleep due to an extremely fast-growing cancer that gave us just days to figure out what to do (and there was no treatment possible).

I am a person who tries to always see the bright side of things. I always look for the lesson. I always believe that even bad things are leading me to something better.

But, in that moment, I hit rock bottom. My faith shattered. My heart was broken in a way I felt was permanent. I had picked myself up and brushed myself off so many times, and I truly felt in that moment that I could not do it again. The weight of the sorrow of all of that loss was overwhelming.

I called people in my life who I believed would be supportive (and who I endlessly support), and, for perhaps the first time in my life, I said, "I am broken. I truly need help."

I'm not sure I've ever said those words before, and it was difficult to even speak them.

Their response? "You are a strong person; you'll make it through."

Not, "What can I do to help?" Not, "How can I take some of this burden?" Not, "I'm hopping on a plane and flying down there to take you in my arms and hold you up for a while..." (something I had done repeatedly for them).

And then, I didn't hear from any of them for 14 days.

And that is when I realized that, when a group unit - be it a family or friends - is used to one person being "the strong one," they cannot handle that person faltering. As a result, the strong person is never allowed to break or to need help.

And it is EXHAUSTING. So, please - check on your "strong" friends. Ask them if they need anything, and listen. Then help. Let them know that they are loved, supported, and appreciated.

If you are strong person who is dealing with pain or disease, and you’d like support and love to get through it, check out my course, Body Language: Deciphering Your Body’s Clues so You Can Heal. In there, you will get personal support from me with weekly calls, as well as understand and heal the core reasons for your pain or illness, empowering your personal strength and your best life.

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Life is rough sometimes. You can still find happiness.

Let's just be real; choosing happiness can seem like a tall order, given the state of the world right now. So, when I talk about choosing happiness, let me be clear: what I mean is that you are choosing to find moments of joy, love, acceptance, and peace inside yourself, even with everything going on.

Believe me, I get myself in knots over all the pain in the world. I speak up on injustice when I see it. I worry over the wellbeing of literally everyone in the whole world. I bet you do, too.

It's seriously overwhelming. And, if I didn't take a moment to pull back, to disconnect, to recenter myself into my own reality, I would be completely burnt out (and I know of what I speak, because I've done it).

So, what I am suggesting you do is to bring awareness to when you are only focusing on what's wrong, what's lacking, what needs to be done, and what obstacles are in your way. When you find yourself in that mode, take a moment and step back. List 5 things to be grateful for. List 5 things that are making you feel joy or happiness or acceptance or peace or love right now. List 5 things that are going RIGHT. List 5 improvements you see in life.

The only way we can create positive change in ourselves and in the world is if we are willing to take personal responsibility for how we feel and act, and the only way we can keep on doing what needs to be done to create a better world is if we restore ourselves to find the good in even difficult days. By cultivating this ability to shift yourself from "black cloud" thoughts and feelings to a reasonable sense of hope and gratitude, you can do so much more for the world (and you will feel and be more well to boot).

You are already connected to all you desire.

It's so hard to not get pulled into the world of comparing yourself, you life, and your success to others, particularly in the social media world. We look and all we see are the ways in which our lives are lacking, connecting ourselves with a constant stream of sadness, fear, and even self-loathing.

The truth is that we are connected to all we desire in this world, if only we look within and connect with that creative power within ourselves.

Science now shows that no matter how separate we feel from people and things in our lives, the reality is that we are all connected in the underlying wave that is quantum potential.

So, when we think we are separate from the things we want in our lives, that's actually an illusion; you can't be separate from anything if we are really all just waves in an ocean of potential. I know that seems crazy, but try this: imagine standing in the ocean on one side of the world, and a friend standing in the ocean on the other side of the world. You might be in two different places, but are you really disconnected? No, you are connected through the waves - there is a constant connection of waves from you all the way around the world.

In the same way, view yourself as a wave in the ocean of reality; everyone you love is a wave, and everything you desire is a wave. Are you actually disconnected?

When you want to experience anything in your life, change your perspective. Imagine that you are, inside your heart, connected with this person or thing now. Feel the excitement you'd feel if they were in front of you. Keep connecting with this reality everyday, and your life will profoundly shift for the better.

You are capable of greatness.

There are a lot of reasons why we hold ourselves back; fear of failure, fear of success, fear that we are not really as good as we project ourselves to be, fear of what others will think if we live authentically, and many other things. I know that I have felt all of these; it's a work in progress to convince myself to put these kinds of feelings to rest. It may feel that way to you, too.

If you have a tendency to play small because of a fear of playing big, or if you always seem to undermine your own success, take a moment and really look at why this is so. Much of this kind of negative self-talk and beliefs find their roots in things we learned and heard as children. How did your parents speak about your accomplishments as a child? Were you only as good as your next "A" grade? Or were you told that you were never good enough, no matter what you did? Were you told that you couldn't or shouldn't outshine a sibling or a parent (particularly look at this one if you constantly try to achieve great things and then sabotage your own success)?

In all the people I have worked with, it is staggering to me how many people were told absolutely awful things about their self-worth and right to be who they truly are. Please know that no matter what was said or shown to you, no matter what adults in your life did to tell you that you were unworthy, you DID NOT DESERVE IT. There is no child in this world that ever deserves anything other than being lifted up and given the chance to truly blossom into the adult they are meant to be.

You have greatness inside you; it's been there all along. Put your hand over your heart, and tell yourself, "I deserve to be great today and every day."

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