Life is rough sometimes. You can still find happiness.

Let's just be real; choosing happiness can seem like a tall order, given the state of the world right now. So, when I talk about choosing happiness, let me be clear: what I mean is that you are choosing to find moments of joy, love, acceptance, and peace inside yourself, even with everything going on.

Believe me, I get myself in knots over all the pain in the world. I speak up on injustice when I see it. I worry over the wellbeing of literally everyone in the whole world. I bet you do, too.

It's seriously overwhelming. And, if I didn't take a moment to pull back, to disconnect, to recenter myself into my own reality, I would be completely burnt out (and I know of what I speak, because I've done it).

So, what I am suggesting you do is to bring awareness to when you are only focusing on what's wrong, what's lacking, what needs to be done, and what obstacles are in your way. When you find yourself in that mode, take a moment and step back. List 5 things to be grateful for. List 5 things that are making you feel joy or happiness or acceptance or peace or love right now. List 5 things that are going RIGHT. List 5 improvements you see in life.

The only way we can create positive change in ourselves and in the world is if we are willing to take personal responsibility for how we feel and act, and the only way we can keep on doing what needs to be done to create a better world is if we restore ourselves to find the good in even difficult days. By cultivating this ability to shift yourself from "black cloud" thoughts and feelings to a reasonable sense of hope and gratitude, you can do so much more for the world (and you will feel and be more well to boot).

3 Questions to Help You to Define Your Dreams and Get Unstuck

How do you find the purpose of your life? For me, it started as a bit of a calling at a young age. I always knew I was meant to help people, but I wasn't quite sure how. 

A piece of the puzzle fell into place one day when I, about 14 years old and stuck in a math class I disliked, began imagining myself anywhere but that room with that teacher. As I wandered off in my mind, I was daydreaming of becoming a great mystery writer, penning timeless classics in the style of Agatha Christie. I saw myself smiling, shaking the hands of fans and signing books. It was a lovely image...

I was jolted back to reality with the sound of my teacher asking, “Tara? Do you know the answer?”

Of course, I didn’t know the answer to the math question, but I thought I might know part of the answer of what I was meant to do in my life: be a writer. 

If you have been feeling stuck, wanting to become something that you are not today and wishing yourself in a new, freer situation that actually makes you feel good, then it’s time for you to ask yourself, “Do you know what would make you happy? Do you know how to define that dream?”

Far too often we simply wish ourselves out of a bad or stagnant situation, but have no idea what would actually make us happy.

In order to achieve your dreams, you need to know your dream in the first place. Here are three key questions to help you to do just that:

Question 1: What do you love to do?

Think about everything you do in your life now. What makes you feel the most joy? Maybe you love to cook for your family and friends. Perhaps you enjoy coaching your child’s soccer team. Maybe you love to help solve people’s problems. Whatever it is, list everything that makes you feel passionate about life. 

Question 2: What did you love to do as a child?

Remember when you were a kid, filled with joy, energy, and hope? What was it about that period in your life that made you truly happy? For some, you may have loved to write. For others, it might have been dance, sports, or just playing in the yard. Whatever it was, dream back to that time and write it all down. (If nothing else, you will feel a full-body smile just imagining the happy times of your youth.)

Question 3: What kind of life would allow you to feel this passion again?

The answer to this one will require both your imagination and a little research. Look at all the things that make you passionate, and imagine a life that allowed you to live with that same sense of joy. Is there a way to reintegrate some of those activities into your life? No, you might not play kickball as an adult, but you could learn another, similar activity. 

If you are seeking a new career that would bring you more joy, what kind of career would let you bring your passions to work?

The answer might come to you right off, or it might take some research. For instance, if you loved dance as a child, there are many ways to build a career around it - for instance, you could become a dance therapist, a NIA instructor, or an aerobics teacher. If you loved to write, you could become a freelance writer, a ghostwriter, or an author. Whatever it is that you love, get online and research the kinds of jobs that use that skill. You might be surprised what you find!

Then, imagine the life that would give you the freedom you desire. Close your eyes and smile, allowing a feeling of joy to flow down into your body and up into your brain. Then, just ask yourself, “How could I create a life that would bring me joy? What kind of life would that be?” Wait for the answers. If you are visual, you might actually see yourself moving to a new location or working at a new job. If you are auditory, you might “hear” in your mind some ways to move forward. 

If this is hard for you the first time, just stick with it. Do just 5 minutes of focused meditation on your “dream life” a day, writing down your observations after each session. 

By doing this, your dream life will become more defined and you will become more focused and joyful.   

What did you find from doing this exercise? And are you one of the lucky ones that has found your dream life? How did you do it? 

My Oprah "Win Your OWN Show" Audition

Yep, I decided to try out to win my OWN Show for the new Oprah Winfrey Network. It was a remarkable experience, to say the least! I am proud to say that I ended up in the top 1% of over 9500 videos, with over 260,000 votes, which I was totally humbled by.

Enjoy the video, and I will post the whole amusing story - as well as my lessons learned from the craziness of it all - in the next few days.