Why You SHOULD Hold Out for Your Soulmate & A "Finding Your Soulmate" Meditation

My husband and I celebrated our 14 year anniversary in November. It was, of course, a happy occasion - especially in the age of divorce when many relationships don't last this long. It was also a time of reflection, as I pondered where the time had gone, how lucky I was to have such a wonderful husband, and how I actually loved him more now than I even did on the day we got married. 

All that pondering called up one really important question: 

How did that one decision to marry him - “Mr. Soulmate” - instead of “Mr. Almost Right” or “Mr. Really, Really Wrong,” change my life? 

The answer? 

Everything is better and easier, even when life is not. 

The truth is, I came perilously close to making the wrong decision about 16 years ago. 

At that time, I was engaged to another man. I remember saying “yes” to his proposal, even when I knew in my heart and gut that it wasn’t right. 

He wasn’t a bad guy; we just really were not meant for the long haul. He was super jealous; I am extremely independent. I am a workaholic, he was still finding out what he wanted to do when he grew up. I prefer discussing issues calmly; he preferred emotional outbursts. 

Even knowing all of this, I stuck it out for a few more months, giving myself stomach ulcers; the worrying about actually having to pull the plug on the engagement was literally eating away at me. 

Finally, 100% sure that we weren’t meant for each other, I ended the engagement, and immediately felt better than I had in ages. 

Realizing that I didn’t want to repeat this relationship again (and, if I am honest,  I had a bit of a track record with this sort of thing, if I'm honest), I then took time to be myself and figure out who I was and what I really wanted. 

During this time, a friend said to me, “You know, you always date guys because they like you; when are you going to start dating people because you like them?”

I hadn’t thought about it like that. As a woman, you get asked out by people, and you think, “Well, he seems alright. I’ll go.” Nothing wrong with that exactly, but what ends up happening is you often get into a relationship with someone that has almost all the qualities you want, but you figure you’ll just put up with the missing things, rather than try to find someone that matches you completely. (This is the phenomenon known as “settling." Ignore elderly aunts and intrusive co-workers that might tell you that you should settle. You shouldn't.) 

It dawned on me that I really didn’t want to settle. So, I ended up doing extensive work on myself to be the best person I could be and to really know myself and what I truly wanted. 

And, I got really, really comfortable with being single. I honestly, in my heart of hearts, decided that if - and only if - I found the perfect guy, I’d get married. 

If not, I would happily be single. 

Then, on January 17th, 1999, I went on a blind date and fell in love at first sight with my husband. I still remember the first thought that came into my head as I met him: “Oh, there you are.” (I also remember immediately wondering why in the world such a notion had popped in my head!)

The second our eyes met, I knew my soul had been searching for him all along. We talked non-stop for hours that night; the waitress actually apologized for having to give us our bill, as the restaurant was closing.

Four months later, we were engaged, and six months after that, we were married. Honestly, I could have married him the night we met, and I would never have looked back.

Fourteen years later, and I realize how much better and easier my life is because of that one (tough) decision to break an engagement and hold out for the right guy. 

However, falling in love with the perfect person doesn't mean that life will always be perfect; it just means that it will be easier to get through with a true partner by your side. 

As I look at our 14+ year journey, the truth is that it’s been pretty crazy -and certainly has not always been easy. We’ve definitely lived up to our marriage vows (and more): 

We’ve had better: 

I wrote my book, and he supported me 100%, doing all the cooking and cleaning and sacrificing a social life so I could work around the clock writing. He’s been promoted in various companies several times. In a crazy-awesome moment, we went to Romania for a book tour, and he was an incredible, beaming support the whole time.

We’ve had worse:

We’ve moved 13 times (seriously) and sold 3 houses in 14 years. We’ve been through two hurricanes, one of which we couldn’t evacuate for (and was one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through). 

We watched my beloved grandmother die of cancer. He cried with me, because he loved her, too.

Being true entrepreneurs, we both took the chance and worked (ridiculously hard) for different start up companies. 

Being true entrepreneurs, we both were screwed by the founders of those start ups, leaving us with debt and feeling betrayed and exhausted (it seems like most entrepreneurs have a similar experience in their resume). 

We rented out our home to people who not only treated our home like a garbage dump for a year, they also were raided by the FTC and FBI for running a credit card scam. To add insult to injury, their son got back in the house a month after they moved out and threw a party, ruining several of our beautiful wood tables and spilling corrosive stuff all over our wood floor. This was not the best moment of our lives, I can assure you.

We’ve had sickness and health: 

I had mononucleosis and worked myself almost to death (ignoring the doctor’s instructions to take 6 weeks off); my husband supported me as I had to heal myself again after it turned into Chronic Fatigue. 

He had a hip replacement, which was a MUCH more major surgery than the surgeon indicated (to say the least!). I was his only caregiver; we’re really proud of getting through this together. Now he walks pain-free, which is an amazing gift.

Through it all, we’ve been a team. We’ve made every single decision together, and we support each other 100%. 

With all of this, I realize that there are some real perks to making sure you hold out for your soulmate (and because of that, I seriously encourage you to do so).

Here's why you hold out to find your soulmate - because when you do: 

You expend less energy fighting, and more energy doing.

When you are not fighting and crying and dealing with all the ways that you are different from each other, you realize that you have a heck of a lot of time to accomplish a lot more. I couldn’t have accomplished 1/10th of what I have if I had a spouse who wanted to fight all the time.

You have more confidence in your decisions.

With someone that truly, unconditionally loves you as your partner in life, you can trust that they will be there with you, supporting all your decisions and the results of those decisions.

When you don’t have to “work” on your relationship, you can can work on your life together. 

Because we fit together so well, we don’t fight at all. Now, most people cannot imagine that - but I have to tell you, it’s true. I honestly believe that people that tell you that relationships have to be hard work are 100% wrong. 

Find your soulmate, enjoy your relationship, no work involved.

During bad times, you pull together, not apart.

It’s amazing to me with all the stress that we’ve gone through, that every single time, we became closer as a couple. As I look at all we’ve been through, if I had been with anyone else, the stress of the situation would have magnified our differences, and we’d likely be divorced. Amazingly, we have always leaned on each other more to get through the bad stuff, and that has been a real gift. 

You find the funny in the bad. 

Lord knows that coming back to our home and seeing it wrecked by a bunch of teenage strangers was not fun, especially when we were just going through our 8th move in 22 months. However, walking up the stairs and seeing a butt mark on the wall at the top of the stairs ended up making us both laugh at the utter absurdity of it all. 

When you are with your soulmate, you end up having the same sense of humor, and that makes a huge difference to get through the bad days. 

Your partner will want your happiness as much as their own, not more or less.

My guilty pleasure is watching “Say Yes to the Dress” - I love seeing those beautiful gowns! But one thing I am always shocked by is, upon being asked what is so wonderful about their fiance, how often a woman will answer, “He will do absolutely anything to make me happy” or “He always puts me first and gets me whatever I want.” 

That may sound nice to some people, but the reality is that when one person is always the "giver", it eventually leads to resentment. Resentment can lead to the "giver" refusing to keep fulfilling the "taker's" needs all the time, which leads to anger and the breakdown of the relationship.

To create a beautiful, balanced relationship, it needs to be a true give-and-take, where both people want for both the other’s happiness and their own happiness. You marry your soulmate, this is a given.

You grow together and love each other for the person you’ve become.

I know people who are terrified that their husband will cheat on them or leave them because they’ve gained a little weight. I know others whose marriages have been ruined because they’ve grown into very different people. 

When you marry your soulmate, you don’t have to worry about that stuff. We’ve both gained and lost weight, looked terrible and wonderful, been grumpy and happy and everything in between, and grown in a myriad of ways. Through it all, we’ve loved each other, respected each other, and grown together.

As I look at that fateful decision to end my engagement and hold out for my soulmate, I can only encourage you to do the same (or stay single if you don’t find him or her). Life is sweeter, easier, and happier when you do - and you end up becoming more than you could have dreamt possible as a team. 

Have you found your soulmate? What advice do you have for others that might still be looking? 

I’d love to help you find your soulmate, so you can be as happy as I am! I’ve created a 45 minute guided meditation to help you tune in to the one you are truly meant to be with. It’s worked for lots of my clients; isn’t it time for you to give it a try? 

As a Valentine's gift from me to you, it's only 99 cents until February 17th (you save $9.00!). And - as with all my products and programs - it's got a 30 day money back guarantee!

Soulmate Meditation

$9.99

Are you sick and tired of the same old disappointing, frustrating, and exhausting relationships? Are you ready to find your one true love? 

This meditation is designed to help you to tune in to the one that your heart is meant for. 

But be warned - it's a powerful one! Finding your soulmate may result in:

• Feelings of euphoria, acceptance, and unconditional love
• Contentment and joy
• Sudden, incredible shifts in your life
• A new understanding of how awesome a relationship should be

If you want to keep dealing with relationships that are a whole lot of pointless work, then this is not the meditation for you. 

However, if you want to finally feel like you've found your other half, that all of your life before this finally makes sense, and like you have an incredible life ahead of you with the one you truly love (and who truly loves the whole you), then you will want to get this meditation immediately! 

It's an instant download, so you can begin tuning in to your soulmate TODAY! 

I want to find my soulmate!

5 Steps to Finding Your Soulmate Now

Do you dream of finding your soulmate, but don’t know how - or if - it will happen for you? 

I was in the same spot a few years ago. I had a pattern of unfulfilling relationships filled with stress, fighting, and jealousy, and was sick of repeating the same mistakes and never finding unconditional love.

So, I took some time to complete the steps below, and - to my amazement - I found my soulmate (and now husband of over 12 years) almost magically.

 

Step #1: Leave any non-soulmate relationship now.

If you are in a relationship now that you know is not “the one,” it’s time to take the plunge and end it. One of the most powerful and important things I did was end my first engagement; not an easy decision, but one that I know was vital to eventually meeting my soulmate. 

How do you know the person you are with is not your soulmate? Well, if you are reading this article, that is a pretty good indicator - if you thought you already found him or her, you wouldn’t be here. 

Another way to know is to listen to your gut instinct. Ask yourself, “Is this person my soulmate?” Really listen. Notice the response in your body - you will feel a “yes” or “no” answer.

If it is “no,” you need to let him or her go. Now. 

 

Step #2: Form a clear picture of what you want.

Have you ever really sat down and thought about what a soulmate would be for you? For each of us, it is a different answer - and it is critical that you have a clear picture of that person so that he or she may begin connecting with you now.

If you don’t have a clear picture, it’s like trying to hit a target while blind-folded - you don’t have a very good chance of doing it. However, when you think through what you truly want in a relationship, that target comes easily into focus. 

 

Step #3: Work on forgiving old wounds.

Have you been hurt in the past? When you think about old relationships, do you still feel the sting of pain or rejection like it was yesterday? If so, you need to do some work to forgive.

By carrying around old, unresolved wounds, the old pain ties you to the past and will also block you from opening yourself completely to another person. In addition, you may even repeat the same pattern, because that is what your mind is unconsciously set to seek. 

None of that is going to help you find your soulmate. Think about the people you still need to forgive and work on doing so to free yourself from the past and find your soulmate.

Step #4: Relish aloneness.

If you are one of those people that hates being alone and jumps from one relationship to the next, please listen up! Being alone - and enjoying the experience - is critical to finding your soulmate.

When I broke my first engagement, I took the time to really find myself and do things that I enjoyed doing just because I felt like it. This is a truly freeing experience that helps you to build the self-respect and awareness you need in order to love unconditionally and be unconditionally loved.  

In helping many people find their soulmates, this always seems to be a critical ingredient  that creates the perfect mindset to find your perfect match. So, go enjoy yourself by yourself! 

Step #5: Wait with openness and expectation.

Waiting and wondering if your soulmate will ever show up is tough, no doubt. However, I have seen it time and time again: you must wait with the expectation that your soulmate is being connected to you in the present moment. 

Instead of worrying, mentally prepare yourself for that moment when you meet. Reinforce your desire by going back to your list of soulmate qualities and reading them daily, making sure you have forgiven old hurts, and enjoying being alone. 

By taking these steps, you can know that you have created the perfect mindset to connect with your soulmate.

Want help bringing your soulmate into focus? If you are ready to begin tuning into your soulmate, there is never a better time to get going than now! Get the incredible Soulmate meditation (below) for just $9.99! 

The meditation, which is over 45 minutes long, is an instant download, so you can begin connecting with your soulmate right away. 

Here's to finding your soulmate now! 

$9.99

Are you sick and tired of the same old disappointing, frustrating, and exhausting relationships? Are you ready to find your one true love? 

This meditation is designed to help you to tune in to the one that your heart is meant for. 

But be warned - it's a powerful one! Finding your soulmate may result in:

• Feelings of euphoria, acceptance, and unconditional love
• Contentment and joy
• Sudden, incredible shifts in your life
• A new understanding of how awesome a relationship should be

If you want to keep dealing with relationships that are a whole lot of pointless work, then this is not the meditation for you. 

However, if you want to finally feel like you've found your other half, that all of your life before this finally makes sense, and like you have an incredible life ahead of you with the one you truly love (and who truly loves the whole you), then you will want to get this meditation immediately! 

It's an instant download, so you can begin tuning in to your soulmate TODAY! 

I want to find my soulmate!

3 Big Relationship Mistakes - And How to Stop Making Them & Find Your Soulmate (Part 3)

Big Mistake #3: Picking a mate based only on looks or other material things. 

This was never really an issue for me - as I said before, I tended to look to the heart of the person - but I have a lot of people who come to me for relationship help that tell me that they picked the person because of their looks, money, big house, fast car, etc.  

Guess what? In the long run, these things do not create a foundation for a truly fulfilling, unconditionally loving, soulmate relationship. In fact, with the people that I have worked with, they become sort of a “golden handcuffs” that ties the person to a relationship they are miserable in, simply because they are addicted to the lifestyle, the money, the social position, or whatever else it might be.  

Listen, life is incredibly short. At the end of your life, are you going to look back and be happy with yourself because you stayed with a person that makes you miserable because you wanted things? Or are you going to wish that you had chosen a person that unconditionally supported and loved you? 

Only you can answer that. What I can tell you is that a life lived with your soulmate - a person who matches you on every level - is almost indescribably wonderful.  

You can find out more of my story and how you can break negative patterns and find your soulmate by watching the video below:

3 Big Relationship Mistakes - And How to Stop Making Them & Find Your Soulmate (Part 2)

Mistake #2: Believing that you can change or save a person.

It may be very romantic to think that you are going to be the knight in shining armor or the, well, warrior princess, but in reality it is exhausting, stressful, and causes resentment. 

I am a serious helper personality with a ridiculously big heart, so every sob story has me running to dry the tears. That’s not a bad personality trait, but it does get you into a lot of trouble in picking mates, as you end up finding people that are a mess, but that you think can change with a little love or direction or kindness or (well, the list goes on). 

Of course, what ends up happening is that the person either doesn’t want saved or changed, or tries to become the person you want them to be, but that isn’t who they really are. So, they either slip up and go back to their old selves - and then feel ashamed/angry, or they keep up the change long enough to become resentful of you. 

Here’s what I have learned: In picking a relationship, find someone that doesn’t need saving. Then, you can turn your attention on using your big heart to save the rest of the world, and you can come home to a person who can help renew your batteries to go out and do it another day.

Next, Big Mistake #3!