Why Drama Drains You—and How to Deal with the Drama-Makers in Your Life (and Maybe Even Come Out Empowered)

I hate drama. 

Hate it. 

I realize that’s a pretty strong statement, but it’s true. I don’t play games and never have. I don’t understand the sick pleasure someone gets from pulling some sort of power play on another human being. And I really don’t understand the need to make someone else feel worse in order for you to feel better. 

None of it’s fun to me in any way. In fact, I find it pointless and exhausting. 

However, in this day and age of Desperate-Housewives-of-God-Knows-What, drama is seen as the norm. Even more frustratingly, the drama is rarely about life-or-death situations or issues (they’re never brokering world peace, for instance); it’s usually about stupid, irrelevant things. I guess I'd like drama more if I felt it was a means to a positive ends, but it just isn't.

While some of us hate pointless drama, for some people creating (or engaging in) it is energizing; it seemingly charges their life force for another day. 

For others that are Empaths or a Highly Sensitive People (HSP) like me, drama is completely draining. Because we pick up on other’s emotional state as well as the effects that certain actions can have on others (such as causing pain or sadness), drama is incredibly painful. Worse, the more you are around a drama-maker, the more that your energy is tuned into their fear, sadness, and anger.

Is it any wonder that drama is depleting to you?

So, what’s a non-game-playing, drama-hater to do? Here are my tips for surviving in a drama-laden world: 

1. Avoid the drama-makers. 

Some people LOVE drama. Some people feel life is boring and they need to spice it up, so they stir things up to amuse themselves. Other people feel no power in life and therefore need to exert power in silly, over-dramatized ways. 

Whatever their reasons, drama people NEED to create drama as much as we all need to breathe. 

Obviously, the best course of action is to avoid these people. 

However, that’s easier said than done, especially when you are dealing with a friend, co-worker, boss, or family member. Your approach needs to be specific to the relationship.

If you are dealing with a friend who keeps causing drama, re-evaluate that friendship. If they are talking about others and causing bad feelings between people to you, then they are doing it behind your back, too. Is that a person you really want in your life? 

If you are dealing with a co-worker or boss, it’s definitely more complex. Find ways to decrease your interactions, if at all possible. If it gets too much—if you come home from work exhausted and sick day after day—you do need to look for other work. Your health and wellbeing depend on it.

If it’s a family member, again, your best course of action is to decrease your time and interactions with this person. I know it’s hard, but it is essential to your wellbeing to do so. We've been repeatedly taught that family is everything, which leads many people to put up with horrible behavior which they would never allow in any other relationship or aspect of their lives. Just because someone is related to you doesn't give them the right to be a negative or abusive force in your life. You do have the right to set healthy boundaries and decrease time with someone who constantly wears you out, regardless of their relationship to you.

And let drive this point home: Whatever your relationship, if you know someone in your life who is constantly playing games with others, talking negatively about others behind their backs, and demeaning others, best believe it’s being directed at you, too. Don’t just hope that they aren’t going to start this with you, or—especially in the case of a boss— that if you "just keep your head down" he or she won’t turn on you. Learn from what you are seeing; if they do it to others they ARE doing it to you, whether you are aware of it or not. It’s just a matter of time until you are the primary focus of their negative attention. Get away now.

2. Drama is inherently childish, but that’s the point. Treat a drama person as you would a child having a temper tantrum.

If you’ve ever dealt with someone in the midst of causing drama, then you’ve seen his or her 3-year-old self acting out.

In my experience, those that cause drama for amusement or attention have had some sort of stunting to their growth at a young age; they have a broken sense of self. Perhaps their parents didn’t pay attention to them, so they’d scream to get someone to notice. Maybe they were in a situation where they weren’t taught to use their words to express their emotions properly; they now only know how to use them to hurt. Maybe they are simply modeling what they saw the adults in their life do.

Whatever it is, causing drama and playing power games is inherently childish and attention-seeking. It's a kid's way of exerting power over their surroundings, rather than an adult's way of changing the outcome of experiences through positive actions.

That being the case, if you treat the drama-maker like you would a child having a temper tantrum, it’s often far more effective than getting pulled into their little game.

One tactic that works (both for kids and drama-loving adults) is to tell them that you are not going to engage with them until they regain control and can deal with you calmly. This both sets a firm boundary for how you are willing to be treated, but also shows the drama-maker that they have the control to change the outcome of the interaction, which can be empowering.

3. Try doing nothing. 

Drama people feed off your reaction to their actions. If you give them nothing, they get nothing. If they get nothing, there is no reward for them to be acting dramatic and they will have to find other tactics (maybe even mature ones!) to get what they want. 

I’ve learned a great deal about this through the adoption process, as I’ve had to learn about how to deal with older adopted kids who’ve had a rough start in life. One thing that is emphasized is not to get angry with an adopted child who is acting out in bad ways, because it’s very likely that the only attention they’ve known is negative attention. Sadly, your screaming at or punishing them actually can feel like love. When you react—even negatively—it teaches them that they can get “love” from you in that way, and the behavior accelerates.

It’s no different here. Many times people who cause drama are actually seeking ANY kind of attention, even negative attention.

Doing nothing can be especially challenging if you are an Empath or HSP, as your default reaction is to try to take away pain, to find solutions, to make things better—even if it hurts you in the process. And, like me, you may try to reason with a drama person to find a common solution that’s win-win.

Trust me on this: Reasoning with a drama person does not work. Unfortunately, drama people want the opposite things to happen and will fight to make sure they cause uproar until they get the reaction they want. And, like a 3 year old, they definitely do not want win-win—they want what they want when and how they want it. 

Just give no reaction at all. Go completely quiet and let them do whatever they are doing. Give nothing back.

4. Whatever you do, do NOT give in to their drama. 

Just as with kids, giving the drama-maker what they want after they cause drama only teaches them that they can get what they want by doing what they did. 

And, just as with kids, you can expect more of the same. 

If you are feeling especially pressured to give the drama-maker what they are seeking, you must get away from them. Hang up the phone, walk away, excuse yourself to the bathroom, do whatever you need to do to remove yourself from the situation. 

If you are empathic, your kind nature is going to WANT to give the person what they want because you can actually feel their sadness or need. You have to stand even tougher against it, because you can end up feeding the beast of their need more than any other person. If you do that, you can find yourself in a difficult, co-dependent relationship, and that’s even more challenging to remove yourself from. 

Don’t know quite what to say to stop the drama in its tracks? I’ve had great success with using something along these lines: 

“You know, I can see that you are looking to get something from this, but I am unwilling to deal with you until you calm down. Let me know when you are able to talk about this rationally. Until then, I’m not discussing it.” 

Then, stop discussing it. If the person tries to continue to drag you into the drama, get away. Don’t engage with them until they seem calm and rational.

If they never seem calm and rational, I think you’ve learned a good lesson: This isn’t someone you want in your life, nor is it someone you can count on. Go back to #1 and avoid them as much as possible.

Are you very sensitive to the feelings and emotions of others? Do you seem to draw needy people to you like a moth to a flame? It's very possible you are an Empath. Take my Empath Test now to find out! 

Then, check out my upcoming Empath Institute - I'm so excited to help wonderful people like you to become truly empowered to use your sensitivity in positive ways for the world AND for yourself! 

Empaths: Here’s the REAL Lesson Jerks are Teaching You (And Your 5-Part Survival Plan)

In a conversation with a life coach acquaintance of mine, the topic turned to a guy she was working with on a project. He was rude. He was arrogant. He talked over her and took her ideas as his own. He was male chauvinist in a way I hadn’t seen in a while. He was, in no uncertain terms, a gigantic jerk. 

Upon pausing from describing his vile behavior, she said, “Ah, well. He’s a wonderful teacher.” 

I’d agree; there was a lesson here. However, we disagreed on the lesson itself. 

What she thought she was intended to learn—and what many, many Empaths/kind people have been taught to believe—is that difficult people are put in our lives so that we can learn things like patience, dealing with difficult people, and finding ways to love them despite their flaws. 

In theory, this sounds lovely. It’s love and kittens and puppies. It’s the belief that love and patience and peace will change a person. It’s utopia. 

Listen, I love my utopias (ask my husband—I wax poetic about some perfect vision of humanity at least once a weekend), but this kind of thinking leaves more beautiful, kind, empathic souls in terrible, abusive, and exhausting relationships than I can even count. 

In believing this, you are accepting that no matter what—no matter what harm is done to you, no matter how drained you are by this person, no matter how much of your time you give to a failing cause—you should stay in the relationship, apparently to earn a Master's degree in abuse. 

I dunno, but that just doesn’t sound like the best way to use your beautiful energy. 

Do you really need to accept abuse as a lesson in your life? Do you really need to learn to be some jerk’s doormat? Do you really need to run yourself into the ground, giving all your energy to saving ONE person, rather than being able to protect yourself and your energy in such a way that you can save hundreds (or more)? 

I say you don’t.

In my opinion, the real lesson jerks in your life are teaching you is how to put appropriate boundaries into your life, so YOU get to live the life that you deserve. If you’re an empathic person, doing so also means that you can use your intense caring and healing ways to actually make a difference in the world, not get depleted by some jerk.

If you are dealing with jerks in your life, your approach should be five-fold: 

1. Admit you’re dealing with a jerk.

This can be hard for an Empath, as you’ve likely been taught “you should think the best of people.” 

You should. However, sometimes the best someone has to offer is being a jerk. It’s okay to admit that’s the truth of the matter. In fact, it can be very freeing when you finally allow yourself to admit it.

You might be thinking, “But isn’t that thinking negatively? Isn’t that judging someone?” 

No. If it’s the truth, it’s the truth. You cannot go through life in denial that bad people exist in the world. If you do, you will be taken advantage of and drained of your energy extensively and repeatedly. 

Trust me; I know of what I speak. 

Your empathic nature is a gift, meant to heal the world. I don’t think that denial that leads to abuse is your best decision. 

The truth is that your energy will be depleted when you are with a negative person. It’s not a judgment call; it just is. By accepting who a person really is, you can then empower yourself as to how you choose to deal with them. 

2. If this person is incapable of change or is in ANY way abusive, get away from them. NOW. 

If you are dealing with someone who is emotionally, physically, or mentally abusive to you, or drains your energy to the point that you can hardly function, get out. If you are dealing with someone who is a tyrant and who makes you hate interacting with them, get out. 

I don’t care if it’s your mother, the first order of business is to detach from the relationship. While I absolutely believe you can change the energy of a relationship through energetically changing yourself, there are times when that energetic change is to simply get the hell away from the person. 

If you are dealing with any kind of abuse, please seek help immediately. Please scroll to the bottom of this article for resources. 

3. If they are constantly (and pointlessly) critical, block them from your circles, blog, and life. 

I’ve had a few people in my life that needed to be jerks all the time. When I’d talk about something good I was trying to do, they’d be the first to try to tear it down. When I posted an article I’ve been working ages on, they’d have to post a snarky or negative comment.  

I’m always astonished by these people; who has the time (or desire) to try to make a person’s day worse? If you don’t like what someone has to say and it’s not really hurting you, why take the time to be a jerk? 

Because they are jerks, that’s why. It’s taken me a long time to realize that this is some people’s pastime in life; they just relish putting people down. 

The dirty secret here (and bonus lesson for you) is they hate themselves. Because of that, they hate anyone trying to improve themselves or the world, because it makes the jerk feel bad about who they are. Of course, everyone has the exact same ability to get off their butts and do something with their lives, but they don’t want to actually WORK at anything. They’d rather just try to stop you in your tracks so they don’t have to face their own perceived shortcomings.  

So, they criticize others to make themselves feel better. It’s sad, but you also don’t have to take it. 

Block these people from your social media. Block them from your blog. And, while you are at it, block them from your life. 

Trying to make the world a better place with your empathic energy is hard enough work; you don’t need someone putting you down at every turn. 

4. Begin the practice of shielding yourself every morning. 

If I can pinpoint one thing that helps me more than anything else I do, it would have to be the practice of shielding. 

Shielding is a simple practice where you close your eyes and imagine a beautiful light flowing all around you, creating a force field that encompasses you. The light can be any color you like; I’d advise you to ask yourself what color light you need for the day. (Different frequencies—or colors—of light can negate different types of energy. Trust your inner wisdom to tell you what you need.) Imagine negative energy coming at you, and see it bounce off your force field easily. Imagine a strong, bright shield that is impervious to attack, but allows good to come to you.

That’s it. It’s a very simple practice with profound results. Even if you don’t believe it can help you, try it for a few days and see. 

If you’d like some help with this practice, I have a simple 9-minute Shield Exercise that you can listen to daily that will teach you precisely how to do this most effectively. 

5. If you are dealing with a pattern of jerks coming into your life, you’ve got underlying beliefs that are attracting them. 

This is a hard-fought lesson, let me tell you. For a very long time, I couldn’t figure out why in the world I was attracting the same kinds of energy-depleting, advantage-taking, emotionally-abusive relationships. I had jerks show up in the form of boyfriends, bosses, and friends, and the relationship always played out the exact same way: I’d be put on a pedestal for a while, then diminished, then find myself rushing around to make this jerk happy, then end up running myself into the ground trying to live up to this jerk’s unreasonable (and unearned) expectations. 

It sucked, if I am to be frank. 

Finally, I decided that I needed to figure out why I was choosing these kinds of people over and over again. After all, out of the millions of people in the world to have relationships with, how was I getting the same basic type? 

When I made the discovery behind The Flow Method, I finally had my answer: I was subconsciously and energetically programmed to seek the same kinds of people. Until I identified and retuned that underlying programming, I was going to keep reliving this crappy experience over and over. 

When I shifted the programming, everything changed. If you’d like to be able to identify your underlying programming simply—and have a specific action plan to shift that programming in 40 days, you can check out my book. 

If you are not ready yet, that's okay. What I really want you to take from this is that you are not responsible for (nor do you deserve) the abuse of a multitude of jerks in your life. 

Just know that as an Empath, you are a magnet for these kinds of soul-suckers unless you learn tools to shift that energy and keep them at bay. The good news is that putting a few of these things in practice will help you get right on your way! 

Want to know for sure if you are an Empath? Check out my Empath Test. 

Do you already know you are an Empath?

Would you like help in retuning your energy to stop attracting jerks and start attracting great things to your life?  Are you sick of being drained of your energy and would like to be empowered, not exhausted? Sign up below to be the first to find out when my Empowered Empath Academy opens! 

Are you in an abusive relationship?

Please seek help immediately—you CAN get out. You deserve to get out. 

Please note: Your computer or phone may be monitored by your abuser. Please be safe, perhaps using a friend's phone or computer to reach out for help. 

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 

http://www.thehotline.org

Phone: 1-800-799-7233

Love is Respect: (Terrific resource for those in an abusive dating relationship. Text help offered as well.) 

http://www.loveisrespect.org

Phone: 1-866-331-9474

Do you know a child who is being abused? Please don't just look the other way; report it;

Childhelp National:

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home

Phone: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4533)

Why You SHOULD Hold Out for Your Soulmate & A "Finding Your Soulmate" Meditation

My husband and I celebrated our 14 year anniversary in November. It was, of course, a happy occasion - especially in the age of divorce when many relationships don't last this long. It was also a time of reflection, as I pondered where the time had gone, how lucky I was to have such a wonderful husband, and how I actually loved him more now than I even did on the day we got married. 

All that pondering called up one really important question: 

How did that one decision to marry him - “Mr. Soulmate” - instead of “Mr. Almost Right” or “Mr. Really, Really Wrong,” change my life? 

The answer? 

Everything is better and easier, even when life is not. 

The truth is, I came perilously close to making the wrong decision about 16 years ago. 

At that time, I was engaged to another man. I remember saying “yes” to his proposal, even when I knew in my heart and gut that it wasn’t right. 

He wasn’t a bad guy; we just really were not meant for the long haul. He was super jealous; I am extremely independent. I am a workaholic, he was still finding out what he wanted to do when he grew up. I prefer discussing issues calmly; he preferred emotional outbursts. 

Even knowing all of this, I stuck it out for a few more months, giving myself stomach ulcers; the worrying about actually having to pull the plug on the engagement was literally eating away at me. 

Finally, 100% sure that we weren’t meant for each other, I ended the engagement, and immediately felt better than I had in ages. 

Realizing that I didn’t want to repeat this relationship again (and, if I am honest,  I had a bit of a track record with this sort of thing, if I'm honest), I then took time to be myself and figure out who I was and what I really wanted. 

During this time, a friend said to me, “You know, you always date guys because they like you; when are you going to start dating people because you like them?”

I hadn’t thought about it like that. As a woman, you get asked out by people, and you think, “Well, he seems alright. I’ll go.” Nothing wrong with that exactly, but what ends up happening is you often get into a relationship with someone that has almost all the qualities you want, but you figure you’ll just put up with the missing things, rather than try to find someone that matches you completely. (This is the phenomenon known as “settling." Ignore elderly aunts and intrusive co-workers that might tell you that you should settle. You shouldn't.) 

It dawned on me that I really didn’t want to settle. So, I ended up doing extensive work on myself to be the best person I could be and to really know myself and what I truly wanted. 

And, I got really, really comfortable with being single. I honestly, in my heart of hearts, decided that if - and only if - I found the perfect guy, I’d get married. 

If not, I would happily be single. 

Then, on January 17th, 1999, I went on a blind date and fell in love at first sight with my husband. I still remember the first thought that came into my head as I met him: “Oh, there you are.” (I also remember immediately wondering why in the world such a notion had popped in my head!)

The second our eyes met, I knew my soul had been searching for him all along. We talked non-stop for hours that night; the waitress actually apologized for having to give us our bill, as the restaurant was closing.

Four months later, we were engaged, and six months after that, we were married. Honestly, I could have married him the night we met, and I would never have looked back.

Fourteen years later, and I realize how much better and easier my life is because of that one (tough) decision to break an engagement and hold out for the right guy. 

However, falling in love with the perfect person doesn't mean that life will always be perfect; it just means that it will be easier to get through with a true partner by your side. 

As I look at our 14+ year journey, the truth is that it’s been pretty crazy -and certainly has not always been easy. We’ve definitely lived up to our marriage vows (and more): 

We’ve had better: 

I wrote my book, and he supported me 100%, doing all the cooking and cleaning and sacrificing a social life so I could work around the clock writing. He’s been promoted in various companies several times. In a crazy-awesome moment, we went to Romania for a book tour, and he was an incredible, beaming support the whole time.

We’ve had worse:

We’ve moved 13 times (seriously) and sold 3 houses in 14 years. We’ve been through two hurricanes, one of which we couldn’t evacuate for (and was one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through). 

We watched my beloved grandmother die of cancer. He cried with me, because he loved her, too.

Being true entrepreneurs, we both took the chance and worked (ridiculously hard) for different start up companies. 

Being true entrepreneurs, we both were screwed by the founders of those start ups, leaving us with debt and feeling betrayed and exhausted (it seems like most entrepreneurs have a similar experience in their resume). 

We rented out our home to people who not only treated our home like a garbage dump for a year, they also were raided by the FTC and FBI for running a credit card scam. To add insult to injury, their son got back in the house a month after they moved out and threw a party, ruining several of our beautiful wood tables and spilling corrosive stuff all over our wood floor. This was not the best moment of our lives, I can assure you.

We’ve had sickness and health: 

I had mononucleosis and worked myself almost to death (ignoring the doctor’s instructions to take 6 weeks off); my husband supported me as I had to heal myself again after it turned into Chronic Fatigue. 

He had a hip replacement, which was a MUCH more major surgery than the surgeon indicated (to say the least!). I was his only caregiver; we’re really proud of getting through this together. Now he walks pain-free, which is an amazing gift.

Through it all, we’ve been a team. We’ve made every single decision together, and we support each other 100%. 

With all of this, I realize that there are some real perks to making sure you hold out for your soulmate (and because of that, I seriously encourage you to do so).

Here's why you hold out to find your soulmate - because when you do: 

You expend less energy fighting, and more energy doing.

When you are not fighting and crying and dealing with all the ways that you are different from each other, you realize that you have a heck of a lot of time to accomplish a lot more. I couldn’t have accomplished 1/10th of what I have if I had a spouse who wanted to fight all the time.

You have more confidence in your decisions.

With someone that truly, unconditionally loves you as your partner in life, you can trust that they will be there with you, supporting all your decisions and the results of those decisions.

When you don’t have to “work” on your relationship, you can can work on your life together. 

Because we fit together so well, we don’t fight at all. Now, most people cannot imagine that - but I have to tell you, it’s true. I honestly believe that people that tell you that relationships have to be hard work are 100% wrong. 

Find your soulmate, enjoy your relationship, no work involved.

During bad times, you pull together, not apart.

It’s amazing to me with all the stress that we’ve gone through, that every single time, we became closer as a couple. As I look at all we’ve been through, if I had been with anyone else, the stress of the situation would have magnified our differences, and we’d likely be divorced. Amazingly, we have always leaned on each other more to get through the bad stuff, and that has been a real gift. 

You find the funny in the bad. 

Lord knows that coming back to our home and seeing it wrecked by a bunch of teenage strangers was not fun, especially when we were just going through our 8th move in 22 months. However, walking up the stairs and seeing a butt mark on the wall at the top of the stairs ended up making us both laugh at the utter absurdity of it all. 

When you are with your soulmate, you end up having the same sense of humor, and that makes a huge difference to get through the bad days. 

Your partner will want your happiness as much as their own, not more or less.

My guilty pleasure is watching “Say Yes to the Dress” - I love seeing those beautiful gowns! But one thing I am always shocked by is, upon being asked what is so wonderful about their fiance, how often a woman will answer, “He will do absolutely anything to make me happy” or “He always puts me first and gets me whatever I want.” 

That may sound nice to some people, but the reality is that when one person is always the "giver", it eventually leads to resentment. Resentment can lead to the "giver" refusing to keep fulfilling the "taker's" needs all the time, which leads to anger and the breakdown of the relationship.

To create a beautiful, balanced relationship, it needs to be a true give-and-take, where both people want for both the other’s happiness and their own happiness. You marry your soulmate, this is a given.

You grow together and love each other for the person you’ve become.

I know people who are terrified that their husband will cheat on them or leave them because they’ve gained a little weight. I know others whose marriages have been ruined because they’ve grown into very different people. 

When you marry your soulmate, you don’t have to worry about that stuff. We’ve both gained and lost weight, looked terrible and wonderful, been grumpy and happy and everything in between, and grown in a myriad of ways. Through it all, we’ve loved each other, respected each other, and grown together.

As I look at that fateful decision to end my engagement and hold out for my soulmate, I can only encourage you to do the same (or stay single if you don’t find him or her). Life is sweeter, easier, and happier when you do - and you end up becoming more than you could have dreamt possible as a team. 

Have you found your soulmate? What advice do you have for others that might still be looking? 

I’d love to help you find your soulmate, so you can be as happy as I am! I’ve created a 45 minute guided meditation to help you tune in to the one you are truly meant to be with. It’s worked for lots of my clients; isn’t it time for you to give it a try? 

As a Valentine's gift from me to you, it's only 99 cents until February 17th (you save $9.00!). And - as with all my products and programs - it's got a 30 day money back guarantee!

Soulmate Meditation

$9.99

Are you sick and tired of the same old disappointing, frustrating, and exhausting relationships? Are you ready to find your one true love? 

This meditation is designed to help you to tune in to the one that your heart is meant for. 

But be warned - it's a powerful one! Finding your soulmate may result in:

• Feelings of euphoria, acceptance, and unconditional love
• Contentment and joy
• Sudden, incredible shifts in your life
• A new understanding of how awesome a relationship should be

If you want to keep dealing with relationships that are a whole lot of pointless work, then this is not the meditation for you. 

However, if you want to finally feel like you've found your other half, that all of your life before this finally makes sense, and like you have an incredible life ahead of you with the one you truly love (and who truly loves the whole you), then you will want to get this meditation immediately! 

It's an instant download, so you can begin tuning in to your soulmate TODAY! 

I want to find my soulmate!

5 Steps to Finding Your Soulmate Now

Do you dream of finding your soulmate, but don’t know how - or if - it will happen for you? 

I was in the same spot a few years ago. I had a pattern of unfulfilling relationships filled with stress, fighting, and jealousy, and was sick of repeating the same mistakes and never finding unconditional love.

So, I took some time to complete the steps below, and - to my amazement - I found my soulmate (and now husband of over 12 years) almost magically.

 

Step #1: Leave any non-soulmate relationship now.

If you are in a relationship now that you know is not “the one,” it’s time to take the plunge and end it. One of the most powerful and important things I did was end my first engagement; not an easy decision, but one that I know was vital to eventually meeting my soulmate. 

How do you know the person you are with is not your soulmate? Well, if you are reading this article, that is a pretty good indicator - if you thought you already found him or her, you wouldn’t be here. 

Another way to know is to listen to your gut instinct. Ask yourself, “Is this person my soulmate?” Really listen. Notice the response in your body - you will feel a “yes” or “no” answer.

If it is “no,” you need to let him or her go. Now. 

 

Step #2: Form a clear picture of what you want.

Have you ever really sat down and thought about what a soulmate would be for you? For each of us, it is a different answer - and it is critical that you have a clear picture of that person so that he or she may begin connecting with you now.

If you don’t have a clear picture, it’s like trying to hit a target while blind-folded - you don’t have a very good chance of doing it. However, when you think through what you truly want in a relationship, that target comes easily into focus. 

 

Step #3: Work on forgiving old wounds.

Have you been hurt in the past? When you think about old relationships, do you still feel the sting of pain or rejection like it was yesterday? If so, you need to do some work to forgive.

By carrying around old, unresolved wounds, the old pain ties you to the past and will also block you from opening yourself completely to another person. In addition, you may even repeat the same pattern, because that is what your mind is unconsciously set to seek. 

None of that is going to help you find your soulmate. Think about the people you still need to forgive and work on doing so to free yourself from the past and find your soulmate.

Step #4: Relish aloneness.

If you are one of those people that hates being alone and jumps from one relationship to the next, please listen up! Being alone - and enjoying the experience - is critical to finding your soulmate.

When I broke my first engagement, I took the time to really find myself and do things that I enjoyed doing just because I felt like it. This is a truly freeing experience that helps you to build the self-respect and awareness you need in order to love unconditionally and be unconditionally loved.  

In helping many people find their soulmates, this always seems to be a critical ingredient  that creates the perfect mindset to find your perfect match. So, go enjoy yourself by yourself! 

Step #5: Wait with openness and expectation.

Waiting and wondering if your soulmate will ever show up is tough, no doubt. However, I have seen it time and time again: you must wait with the expectation that your soulmate is being connected to you in the present moment. 

Instead of worrying, mentally prepare yourself for that moment when you meet. Reinforce your desire by going back to your list of soulmate qualities and reading them daily, making sure you have forgiven old hurts, and enjoying being alone. 

By taking these steps, you can know that you have created the perfect mindset to connect with your soulmate.

Want help bringing your soulmate into focus? If you are ready to begin tuning into your soulmate, there is never a better time to get going than now! Get the incredible Soulmate meditation (below) for just $9.99! 

The meditation, which is over 45 minutes long, is an instant download, so you can begin connecting with your soulmate right away. 

Here's to finding your soulmate now! 

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Are you sick and tired of the same old disappointing, frustrating, and exhausting relationships? Are you ready to find your one true love? 

This meditation is designed to help you to tune in to the one that your heart is meant for. 

But be warned - it's a powerful one! Finding your soulmate may result in:

• Feelings of euphoria, acceptance, and unconditional love
• Contentment and joy
• Sudden, incredible shifts in your life
• A new understanding of how awesome a relationship should be

If you want to keep dealing with relationships that are a whole lot of pointless work, then this is not the meditation for you. 

However, if you want to finally feel like you've found your other half, that all of your life before this finally makes sense, and like you have an incredible life ahead of you with the one you truly love (and who truly loves the whole you), then you will want to get this meditation immediately! 

It's an instant download, so you can begin tuning in to your soulmate TODAY! 

I want to find my soulmate!