Make the radical choice to be grateful for all of you today.

It shouldn't be radical to love and honor yourself, but it is.

I see people every day that come to me in pain or having various illnesses that are also constantly beating themselves up for a ton of different ways they think they have failed or aren't good enough.

This self-hatred gets locked in the body and shows up in so many ways, none of them good.

One of the first and best things you can do - right now - is to decide that you are grateful for who you are right now.

For how far you've come.

For how you've handled all kinds of things thrown at you.

For standing up and moving forward on days when you wanted to just curl up and shut the world out.

For picking yourself up in a million different ways a million different times instead of crumbling.

For coming back when you did crumble.

For having that nose. Or those thighs. Or that stomach. Or whatever you've got that you've always put down.

Be grateful that your nose helps you breathe and smell wonderful things like flowers and cookies.

Be happy your thighs are strong enough to run after your kids or kick a winning goal.

Honor that stomach of yours; it's the core of your body.

Be radical in your self-love.

If you're dealing with pain or disease and would like to understand the message your body is telling you about what's off in your mind, body, and life, my Body Language Course is for you.

🗝️Unlock the Body Language Course.

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Reconnect with the light within you. Heal yourself. Heal the world.

I watch my 4 year old daughter, and I am reminded that, once upon a time, we were all filled with joy and wonder and excitement and the hope that the next thing will be so awesome that we'll fall over from amazement.

And I think about how much life dims that light as we grow.

We might be bullied in school, or have parents that put us down and criticize us. We could have relationships that are abusive, either physically or emotionally, or both. We could grow up in a religion that tells us that parts of ourselves are sinful or bad. We could encounter racism, xenophobia, homophobia, bigotry, anti-semitism, and misogyny, all of which tells us that we are less than, just for aspects of our identity.

All of that leads to us disconnecting from the truth inside us, that we are filled with light, hope, and joy.

That, inside us, we can connect with a power that shines out and makes a difference in the world. That we have everything inside us to create the life we truly want to live.

Stop for a moment.

Put your hand over your heart. Imagine that you have a ball of powerful light inside your heart, under your hand. Imagine feeling the heat of that power against the palm of your hand. Inhale and see it grow and shine out of you. Exhale and bring it back in, allowing it to become smaller but more powerful.

Then say to yourself, "I connect with the beauty and power within me. I choose to shine my light into the world with authenticity and love - love for myself, and love for every living being in the world."

Keep connecting with that power; the more you do, the stronger it shines.

Much love ❤️

Tara :)

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My Response to Charlottesville: We Must Rise Up With Love, Not More Hate

I’ve given a great deal of thought to how to respond to the horrors in Charlottesville over the weekend. Here it is: 

I don’t want to hate anyone, not only because hate is bad for my health, but because hate is never the answer. I mean, it is literally never the answer. However, I’m human, and it’s hard not to hate the people that attended the Nazi rally in Charlottesville. 

However, hating gives them more of what they want. Hate is what caused them to be who they are today. Hate is what fuels them. God only knows what factors in their lives taught them to hate that much; we don’t come into this world filled with this sort of frothing, gasping, violent hate in our hearts. Hate is taught. Hate is learned. This kind of hate often stems from deep fears and even deeper feelings of inadequacy. People like this rarely take responsibility for themselves, their actions, or their failings. They’ve likely been bullied or made to feel powerless at some point in their lives, so they’ve become the bully to try to feel more powerful.

It’s a pitiful, emasculated way of being built on a fake notion of masculinity and strength. I’d feel sorry for them if they weren’t so horrific. 

Then, I thought about the fact that these people would wish me, my husband, and our beautiful Afro-Latina daughter dead. If they saw us, they would absolutely spout horrifying things; things I saw repeated over and over on Twitter during the election, as they crawled out from under their rocks, legitimized by hateful rhetoric. Things like “If you adopt black children or marry a black man, you are participating in white genocide,”or the lovely “If you are white and raising a black child, you are raising the devil.” Truthfully, I saw a lot worse than that, with images of black children hung or dead or memes celebrating the death of a black person. 

And I started to be afraid. I was afraid for my daughter, because while we are doing everything we can to make sure she has a strong connection to her Caribbean, Puerto Rican, and African American roots, those same roots make her a target of this kind of terrorism. Just the color of her skin makes our sweet, innocent, giggly little girl a target of their hate and violence. Spurred by my raging motherly instincts to protect her at all costs, I began to feel that maybe we shouldn’t travel much right now, in case we encounter these kinds of people somewhere. I found myself walking by people and wondering: “Is this one of them?” and wanting to cover her up. Fearful, I started to have a deep desire to hide us all away in the safety of our home. 

I realized this was crap. I won’t give them the satisfaction of fear. I won’t play into their desires by hiding away my family because of their twisted view of the world.  

And then I thought about what my little family was doing while this disgusting rally was happening: We were getting first birthday pictures done for our precious little girl, all the while smiling, giggling, and showing our love as a family. Strangers were stopping and breaking into huge smiles as they saw her, all dressed up and giggling, and us, all dressed up and beaming with pride. More than one person stopped to tell us that seeing our little family made their day, and marveled at how gorgeous she is and how loving our family is together. 

So, while a bunch of people were raging with hate, we were filled with love and joy and pride. We were inspiring other people by simply BEING the love we feel for each other. 

In fact, we were doing what the majority of Americans were doing that day—going about our lives, living with love in our hearts and trying to make the world a little better. As I thought about that, I began to glance through my news feed to see what my friends were doing that day. There was a gay couple celebrating the fact that their child just learned to ride a bike. There was another gay couple dropping their gorgeous, accomplished adopted daughter off to college. There were many Muslim, Hindu, Italian, German, Irish, or a-little-bit-of-this-and-that families out and about together, laughing and teasing each other. There were couples of every race riding bikes, running, watching movies, or just hanging out together. Little kids of every shade under the sun were playing on swing sets and basketball courts and playgrounds. People of every color were born, were dying, were mourning losses, were finding the beauty in moments. 

In short, the vast majority of us were being Americans—real Americans. Heck, we were simply being real human beings. We were socializing and texting and shopping and eating and hanging out. We were showing love and compassion for each other. We were families of every color, creed, and inclination simply being families and celebrating the fact that we live in a land built by immigrants and made better by a melting pot of perspectives and cultures. 

That’s what America is. And because of that, this kind of hate will not make us afraid. It will not break us down. It will not win. It. Will. Not. Win.

And we won’t hate. We will love each other more. We will be more compassionate. We will work harder on being more inclusive. We will recognize the overlooked and do something about it. We will love harder, even when it’s harder to love. 

And when we do that, we prevail. In "The American Crisis," written during the Revolutionary War, Thomas Paine said, "These are the times that try men's souls." 

The soul of America is being tested yet again, and this test gives us the opportunity to, without fear or wavering, declare that love, diversity, and American ideals are of value to all of us; that we truly are better and stronger together. And that is what we will do—we will rise up, and we will stop this in its tracks. As our leadership falters, we are now, each of us, called to be leaders, and we will not falter.

We need to follow in the footsteps of the incredible Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. His model of strong, centered, passive resistance worked for the Civil Rights Movement, and it will work again. 

As he so correctly noted, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Lead with love. Love wins. Love always wins.

After the Paris Attacks: What My Sleeping Dog Taught Me About How ONE Person Can Make a Difference

I've had a hard time sleeping since the Paris attacks. I close my eyes, and all I see is the terror, the hate, the inhumanity. My mind can't understand how someone can do such horrible things. Filled with these thoughts, I've found myself caught in the belief that this is a cruel world, and sickened by the fact that I don't know how to fix it or what to do to help. 

Then, this morning, I woke to find my sweet dog sound asleep on his teddy bear. Looking at him, sleeping happily and without a concern in the world, I realized that my husband and I have created a home filled with peace and love, that allows him and all who enter to feel safe and supported. 

And it occurred to me - maybe that's what we can all do to change the world: Focus on creating peace in our own homes, in our own relationships, in our interactions with each other online and in person. Take time to be generous to others, and peaceful in our words to them and to ourselves. Reach out to those that don't seem to have friends, and help them to feel part of the community. Take time to call loved ones and let them know you care.

Sure, there are things that have to be done to combat the terrorism directly, but I'm not in the military or police, and certainly have little say in the direction that goes. But I can make changes that assure that the world around me gets better, little by little. 

I've always believed Gandhi's approach "be the change you wish to see in the world." Now, perhaps more than ever, we need to take this to heart and make a conscious choice to act with love and kindness and peace - and perhaps, just perhaps, that will begin to go viral. Wouldn't that be nice? Let's make peace go viral. I believe it can be done - if we share peace like we share posts, it can be done. Sending love and peace to all today...