How to offer yourself the same love you offer others...

“Hey beautiful girl,” I said to my daughter, as I walked in to see what she was up to.

“Hey beautiful mama.” She said back.

I stopped and hugged her. “That’s so sweet, honey.”

“What?” She said, “You always tell other people they are beautiful. You are beautiful, too.” 

Talk about the wisdom of a child.

And it’s true - I love lifting others up.

I see their gifts and help bring them out.

I see their struggles, and I show them where those struggles can be transformed into a path to authenticity and purpose.

I understand their wounds, and I encourage gentle healing.

But with myself?

Not so much sometimes.

Just like anyone, I have negative thoughts that tend to crop up in times of stress or uncertainty.

I worry about doing and being enough.

I worry that I am not good enough.

None os that is true, but it still can stop me in my tracks sometimes.

When we give in to this kind of negative thinking, we can’t heal.

We can’t become who and what we are meant to be.

We can’t be the kind of light in the world that the world needs right now.

We MUST see our beauty.

We must reflect it back to ourselves in the same way we reflect it out.

We must get to the root of it and have tools to shift from self-hate to self-love.

That’s why I created a free mini-course, Shutting Down the Bully Mind.

THE SHUTTING DOWN THE BULLY MIND FREE MINI-COURSE IS FOR YOU IF YOU:

• Know that self-doubt is holding you back…

• Find yourself playing and replaying negative self-talk in your mind…

• Suffer from “imposter syndrome”…

• Are sick and tired of beating the hell out of yourself…

• Want to understand the root of your negative self-thinking…

• Are ready to put easy, life-shifting practices in place and feel better…

• Are ready to align with your gifts and your best life…
  

If that sounds like you, grab access to the free mini-course here (again, totally free!):

You can't create better for yourself if you don't see better IN yourself.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wanted to change everything? Or felt like you were not good enough in any possible way?

I certainly have. I have always been horribly critical of myself, and it impacts everything.

I couldn't figure out why I was attracting so many negative experiences to my life where the person or experience seemed to prove to me that I really wasn't worth much of anything.

I'd done all the meditating and visualizing. I'd read all the books.

But you know what I hadn't done?

I hadn't truly worked on loving myself.

And it dawned on me - how was I ever going to attract better to my life if I couldn't see better in myself?

So, I started the (very hard) work of radically loving myself.

I decided to start seeing my flaws as assets.

And I finally acknowledged the good things about me (things I never acknowledged, because I thought I was being vain or bragging to admit something good about me).

And EVERYTHING changed. My life became so much happier. I attracted great things to me.

And I started offering what I learned to others.

Have you tried radically loving yourself? Has it helped you?

If you'd like to join my free 7-day Radical Self-Love Challenge and start radiating confidence, living your truth, and manifesting awesomeness, I'd be so happy to have you.

You can sign up for free here: go.tarameyerrobson.com

#selflove #lawofattractiontips #happiness #confidence

Guess What? You Don't Need to Be Perfect to Be Worthy (Really)

Are you a perfectionist? 

A lot of us are (including me), and that’s not a good thing. 

When you hold yourself up to a perfect ideal, you are telling life that you do not deserve love, respect, or any other good thing unless you meet that ideal. Of course, it is impossible to be perfect, so you end up feeling like a failure because you never get what you want. 

Perfectionism is also at the root of most addiction. Anorexics think that they will be lovable if they are thin. Alcoholics and drug addicts fear that they will never be as perfect as they think they need to be, so they drown this hurt and pain in the bottle or with pills—at least this way, they can have a reason why they are not living up to the ideal. Workaholics are always striving to prove themselves worthy of their jobs, love, and the respect of others by working themselves into the ground. Overeaters are often so frustrated at feeling that they will never measure up to the ideal body that they just eat—this way, they have control over how they failed. Plastic surgery addicts are chasing their individual belief of the perfect body, believing that attaining it will earn them love and approval.

Perfectionism is a nasty thing, because it never allows you to be good enough, lovable enough, or just enough. A perfectionist could do an absolutely perfect job, but they will only see the little flaws that no one would ever notice. Happiness is elusive for a perfectionist, because there is always something more that can be done to make their work, life, or body better.

This way of life will literally eat you alive. It is self-hatred, plain and simple. To live up to some fictionalized ideal, you will restrict eating, exercise excessively, and work until you have pushed way beyond your limits. You will beat yourself up for every single slight, mistake, or imperfection, and make yourself sick with worry that someone will find out that you are not as great as everyone thinks that you are. By making the ideal more important than you and your heath, your body will get the message that you do not really care about yourself, often resulting in disorders such as chronic fatigue and mononucleosis. 

Stop abusing yourself! It’s time to start taking care of yourself and learn to accept yourself as you are now. Understand that no matter what messages you have received on what makes someone perfect, none of it is true. There is no ideal, and there is no perfect person. You are perfect as you are right now. 

Choose to connect with your inner beauty and truly love yourself for being you. Choose to be authentic to yourself, your instincts, and your needs. When you make a little mistake, take a deep breath and say “So what?” Everyone is entitled to make mistakes. 

Instead of seeing your “flaws,” realize that these very flaws are what make you unique and desirable. After all, Cindy Crawford could have seen the mole on her lip as a flaw, but it became a real asset for her career and a very desirable beauty mark. Jennifer Lopez could have listened to mainstream media and believed that her backside as too big, but instead it is a real strength for her and her career. Beyond just celebrities, look around at all of those that you admire; notice how their uniqueness is actually a true benefit to be loved and admired.

You are just as beautiful. Feel it in your spirit. Accept it in your soul.  

The Flow Method Questions and Actions: 

1. If you are a perfectionist, why do you feel that you need to be perfect? Are you afraid of not measuring up? Not being loveable? Not being accepted? Were you raised in a family where every little slight, action, or word was analyzed and blown up to massive proportions? Do you still fear that one word or phrase will cause a catastrophic response?

2. How often do you push yourself beyond your limits to chase an ideal? Where did the ideal come from? Can you make yourself worthy of taking care of yourself? Try using the affirmation, “I love myself. I am good enough in every way. I am perfect just as I am.”

Would this article help others in your life? I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with them - and I bet they would be, too! Much love and gratitude!

Believing in Your Worth: The Secret to Finally Feeling Worthy of the Success, Love, and Joy You Desire

Think of someone who you consider to be very successful, perhaps someone that you strive to be more like. Do you think that you are equal to them? Do you think that you deserve the same success that they do?  

You should, but you probably don’t. You likely assume that they must be made of something intrinsically better than you are, and this allows them to be more deserving of success and abundance.  

But here’s the thing: Everything in the entire world is made of particles, and all particles are exactly the same. They are a lot like the legos of the universe; particles make up your body, stars in the sky, the chair you are sitting on - everything.

This means that at a particle level, the people you admire are made of the exact same building blocks that you are. Because of this, there is nothing different about a Bill Gates or an Oprah Winfrey than you. They do not have, on any physical level, any better particles than you do. Truth be told, you could exchange yourself as humans, and it would literally not matter at all in the grand scheme of things.  

The idea of the from-a-better-family woman or the better-bred man is totally ridiculous. No particle is preprogrammed with any information at all—there are no rich or poor particles, no brilliant or idiotic particles, there is nothing pretty or ugly about them. At the particle level there is no race, no religious affiliation, no blood line, no genetics, no predisposition to weight or disease or anything else; there is literally no distinction between them at all. They are all a blank slate, and are distributed to everyone equally. 

So, the next time that you feel that you “just don’t have what it takes,” or that you “don’t deserve better than you have now,” you just remember this: You are equal to everyone else—even the most successful, happy people you know..  

Your particles have come together to form the person that you are, and the collection that is “you” has every ability to have an amazing life just as you are. You do not need to change anything about yourself to deserve that success; you just need to decide that you are good enough to have it! 

Don’t believe me? Really look around at the kinds of people that have a life that you envy. Do they all look alike? Are they all intelligent? I am willing to bet that some of them are the guys that you knew in college who would dare each other to run around the quad naked! Now, they own multi-million dollar companies and hold public office. If anyone was not able to achieve any level of success that they wanted, then these guys would be jobless and living in their parents’ basements, not running huge corporations and making public policy!

So think about it this way: If they have the particles necessary to make it big in this world, then you certainly do! 

The meaning of all of this? Your particles are as good as anyone else’s; therefore, you are every bit as worthy and important and fascinating as anyone else is—and as completely deserving of a totally wonderful life.

Do you feel worthy of success and happiness? If not, was there ever a time when you did? 

Do you know someone that could benefit from this article? Please share the love on Facebook, Twitter, and e-mail. 

Tara's Questions for Positive Change: 

1. Were you ever told that other people had “better breeding” or a “better bloodline” than you? How did this make you feel? Can you now see that this is not a true statement, based on the science of particles?
2. Have there been times in your life when you felt that other people were better or more deserving than you? When did you feel this way? 
3. When you think about living the life of your dreams, do you still fear that you aren’t worthy or don’t have what it takes? If so, use this retuning statement: “I am as deserving of my success as anyone else. I am made up of good stuff, and I can use my mind and my actions to create the life of my dreams.” Repeat this statement as often as you like. The more you do it, the more that it will create a new program in your mind, which then shifts your reality.

*This article is an excerpt from my book, The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation