Is the Season the Reason for Your Pain?

Is the season the reason you are in pain?

I’d been having a whole lot of weird aches and pains and anxieties surface, all starting right about Thanksgiving. 

I was scattered and STRESSED. 

And my right knee started having this stabbing pain, particularly when going up stairs. 

I was wondering what the heck was wrong with me when it hit me:

My body was remembering some old traumas that happened right around Thanksgiving a few years ago.

Thanksgiving hit, and bam - my body was waving red flags that I had not healed something.

I’d dealt with it at the time. 

I thought I moved through it.

But I had not actually take the time to fully heal it - to feel the emotions around it, to look at what happened, and make decisions on what I needed to do about what I learned in the process. 

Interestingly, all the anxieties I was feeling were exactly how I felt then.

And the right knee issue was, from a medical intuitive perspective, about me not being able to feel safe stepping up to a higher level. 

I had definitely taken on a belief about it not being safe to step forward during the original trauma.

Traumas are stored in our bodies. 

When we don’t fully deal with them at the time, they resurface during the anniversary of the trauma. 

We may not consciously remember the date, but the subconscious does. 

And the body starts talking, trying to get your attention for healing that needs to be done - emotionally, energetically, and then physically. 

Sometimes the season is the reason for your pain. 

If you’ve been dealing with out-of-the blue pain, strange symptoms, or unexpected flare ups of disease, it might be a trigger from holidays gone by.

To figure out what’s happening (and fix it), try these tips:

1. Take a moment to think through your holiday experiences.
   Do you have holidays that had major stressors? Family fights? Loss of income? Or other majorly stressful, traumatic issues?
   
   

2. If so, write about how you felt at the time.
   Try to do a stream-of-consciousness kind of writing - just start writing, and keep writing, without editing anything you write. Let it come out however it needs to.
   
   To get going, use these journal prompts:
   “Here’s everything that happened during that time…”
   “When this happened, I felt….”
   “What I wish had happened was….”
   “When I this happened, this is how I felt about myself…”
   
   

3. Look at the symptoms you are experiencing. How might they relate to how you felt at the time?
   For instance, if you are experiencing aching pain, it’s likely you felt heartbroken at the time.
   Stabbing pain? You felt attacked.
   Hard time breathing? Your breath was taken away by whatever happened; it stifled you.
   Back pain? You felt unsupported at the time.
   Pounding headaches? You felt frustrated and stuck by the situation; you could not find a solution (or, you intuitively knew the solution, but could not put it in place).
   Sinus infection? Something right in front of your face (someone close to you) made you feel blocked and stuck.
   
   Write about your symptoms and see if you can intuitively relate the symptoms to what they might be saying about the root issue.
   (If you need help with this, join my Body Language program! You’ll be able to decipher everything and have an healing action plan in no time!)
   
   

4. Shift the trigger.
   Every experience in life creates little memories in our minds. Those memories are a combination of everything we felt, sensed, and did in that moment.
   
   When we encounter a trigger that is ANY part of that original experience, our mind brings up the entire memory again, causing us to re-experience things as if it were real now.
   
   For instance, maybe you were in a car crash. When it happened, your favorite song was on the radio. In that moment of the crash, you felt fear, panic, pain, and shock. The intensity of those emotions combined with the sound of the cars hitting, the sight of the car coming at you, and the sound of that song.
   
   Fast forward a month, and that same song comes on the radio. You suddenly feel panic and anxiety. Your breath quickens. You become tense and hyper-alert.
   
   Your mind now associates that song with all that you experienced in the accident. Whenever you hear that song, all those emotions and feeling are pulled up subconsciously.
   
   It’s the same with ANY trigger, but the holidays are a big one.
   
   One of my current clients called up sobbing. It was just before Thanksgiving, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with negativity and panic. She was so depressed that she could barely get out of bed. And she had a massive flare up in gastritis, causing stomach pain and vomiting.
   
   We were able to identify the trigger - she had NEVER had a good holiday. Her mom was an abusive alcoholic and had married an abusive man. It always got worse during the holidays. She remembers her stomach hurting the closer it got to Christmas each year, knowing that Christmas would be horrible.
   
   Her body was simply remembering that she needed to start worrying in November, so when mid-November came around, all these symptoms flared up.
   
   She no longer lives with her mom, but the effects of that were showing up like she did.
   
   She needed to take charge and create new associations with the holidays.
   
   So, we came up with new traditions that she was excited about. We talked about songs to play and things to do to shift the energy of this season from one of stress, fear, and disappointment to happiness, joy, and the holiday SHE wanted to create (and the one she deserved as a child).
   
   I’d suggest you do the same. How can you claim the holiday in a new way that is authentic to you? If there is a certain day that has an anniversary which is difficult for you, how can you choose to do something positive for you that day - that honors the anniversary, but creates a new memory?
   
   Find things that bring YOU joy this holiday season. Create a new set of traditions that YOU are excited about. Create what YOU want this holiday, and start making that your intent every holiday.
   
   And finally, give yourself some extra grace. This is a hard time of year for so many people. Be gentle with yourself. Extend extra love and kindness to all you meet.

If you’d like help in deciphering the message of ANY pain and disease - and heal it all from the root - join my Body Language: Deciphering Your Body’s Clues so You Can Heal program today!

Only $222 for the whole course, guided meditations, powerful healing practices, group sessions with me, and 20 minute private mini sessions where I personally translate the message behind your pain and disease and get you on the path to healing. 

It will be $1111 after the 1st of the year, so now is the time to jump in and take back power in your mind, body, and life! 

Your body is talking. Let me teach you how to listen and heal. ❤️ (It’s my absolute favorite thing to do in the world - so please let me help you!)

Sending you joy and love this holiday, and always -
Tara 

Even Perfect Women Have a Breaking Point: How to Give Yourself a Break Before You Fall Apart

I ripped the leg off my Barbie as a child.

This confession comes with a caveat: It was an accident. I was simply trying to see how flexible she was and kept clicking the leg back until “crack!” - it just came off. 

As it turns out, even the “perfect woman” has a breaking point.

While I meant her no harm in that moment, I never cared much for Barbie even as a child. I think even my 5 year old self knew there was something very wrong with the perfect image of Barbie: ever smiling, wearing all matching outfits, ridiculously proportioned, and looking for her perfect Ken so she could have the perfect kids and house and life. 

Looking back at the memory of holding her leg in my hand, I realize that I was learning an important lesson: Trying to be perfect all the time ends up breaking you, no matter how flexible or strong you think you are. 

If you have been trying to be flawless for too long - holding up an unrealistic image and schedule - and are reaching your breaking point, it’s time to rethink perfection and give yourself some unconditional love and support.

Love your imperfection - it’s likely what makes you unique!

Copyright Fadsin Cinema Associates, 1975

Remember that movie Stepford Wives?  All the women were exactly the same, turned into robots who looked and acted like society’s image of a perfect woman. Watching the movie, it is obvious that having all women everywhere cater to one definition of “woman” is not only creepy, it is highly undesirable.

However, after being fed a constant stream of air-brushed, cosmetically enhanced media images of the women we “should” be, it is far less obvious in our own day-to-day lives that we often strive to live up to a similar “perfect” or “normal” standard that would erase all that makes us unique. 

Worse, holding ourselves up to these so-called perfect images, we begin to hate aspects of ourselves that don’t seem to fit into this flawless frame. The more we hate ourselves, the more we attract negative, critical people and experiences to our lives, which makes us feel even more imperfect. 

To break the negative cycle, try this:

Tomorrow morning when you look in the mirror for the first time, notice what you say to yourself. Is it critical? Do you judge yourself harshly? If so, catch yourself in mid-thought. Take a deep breath, and think of a time when you felt truly loved and desired. When you have this emotion flowing all over your body, look yourself in the eyes, smile, and say to yourself, “I love myself. Who I am right now is beautiful.” 

If nitpicking at yourself is a habit, this will be very hard at first. Just be gentle with yourself and keep at it. 

Once you feel like you can send love to your eyes, it is time to send a little love to the rest of you. Find one part of your body that you dislike, and keep at it until the love starts to seep in. When you start to feel better about that body part, move on to the next one. Keep it up until you can honestly look at any part of you without feeling hatred, judgment, or criticism. 

This practice may seem silly. It may seem like too much work. It may seem too uncomfortable for you to do. Do it anyway.

The truth is that until you love yourself unconditionally and honor your uniqueness, you will never find people - in love, business, or friendship - that offer you the love and respect you truly deserve. 

So, own your uniqueness fully. Look at it as the asset it is. After all, history is full of successful women who became so because they were not afraid to be different from the norm and learned how to use their individuality as their “wow” factor.

Be different. Be you. Love yourself. Stand out from the crowd. Be proud of your differences, and use them to become truly memorable!

Best of all, when you embrace who are are and make decisions from a place of self-love then you won’t end up breaking, and isn’t that worth it in the end?  

Tara's Questions for Positive Change:

1. For one hour of TV watching, write down any messages you notice that advertisers or media is putting forth on what is a “perfect woman.” Now, write up your list of how you define being a woman. How does your list differ from the media perspective? 
2. What do you hate most about yourself? Can you first remember when you decided that it wasn’t okay? What were the circumstances? 
3. Think about the words you use to criticize yourself. Are they the same words that you heard parents, teachers, coaches, friends, or other authority figures use to criticize you? Realize that there is no need for you to continue to believe that another person’s perspective on you is right.
4. What is really different about you? Make a list. Then, think about how that uniqueness benefits your life. How can you use that difference, be it in looks or in how you see the world, to make yourself unforgettable? How about to benefit the world?
5. How do you think your life would be different if you truly accepted and loved yourself? 

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How to Feel Safe: Dealing With Anxiety by Creating Your Own Security and Peace of Mind

Perhaps the greatest stress you will ever face is the impression that you can't protect yourself from life itself.

I have certainly had moments like this. A few years ago my husband and I went through two hurricanes, completing renovations on our house, putting it on the market, a cross-country move, and the death of my beloved grandmother all in a four week period (actually, all but one hurricane happened in one week). I have never been so stressed out in my life, and I began to notice that I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next disaster to happen. 

To top it off, I found I had gained about ten pounds in a week, although, due to stress, I hadn’t eaten a thing in days.

I felt exposed and unable to protect myself, and this frequency began to create the physical reactions that I was having. My fight or flight response was so overstimulated that my adrenal glands burned out. My mind was saturated with the idea that life was unsafe, so I manifested padding all over my body - and primarily my stomach, which is the seat of the sense of self - to at least soften the energetic blows.

If you carry excess weight in your mid-section, ask yourself why you feel unsafe. Very often, you will feel the answer in your gut immediately. Perhaps you have been hurt by someone close to you, and you are afraid of being hurt again. Maybe you are afraid of being rejected for who you are. Or, perhaps you are at a point of chaos in your life, and you feel that the blows will never stop. Any threat against your physical, emotional, or spiritual self can trigger an imbalance in the core of your body.

While you may feel that you cannot protect yourself, this is never true. As the co-creator of your life, you have the ability to create your own security and your own safe space, even in threatening situations. After all, the more that you identify a particular situation (or all of life) with the expectation, “I am not safe,” the more that you will trigger a fight or flight response in your body. 

To feel safer, bring awareness to your breath.

When you find yourself feeling that you are being threatened in any way, bring your awareness to your breath. Focus in on it; you will likely notice that you are either holding your breath or it is speeding up, which continues to send a signal of fear to your body.

Instead, consciously slow down your breathing. Breathe in to the count of 5; breathe out to the count of 7. When you breathe in, make sure you are filling your lungs completely; it should feel that not another bit of air could go in there. When you breathe out, you should feel like you are doing so as slowly as you possibly could, and, at the end, that you have emptied your lungs completely. By doing this, you communicate to your mind that you are calm—and your body calms down.

Then, in this calm state, repeat to yourself the new expectation, “I create my own security. I am safe. I am protected.” If you would like to, you can place your hand over your stomach as you do this. By physically touching your skin, you are making a real connection between your mental and physical state, which strengthens your physical belief that you are now in charge of your emotional state. 

The more you practice this, the more you create new neural programming that you really are safe and that you are able to protect yourself. You will begin to feel better and react to life from a more powerful state. Even better, this practice also sends out an important message to life itself that you are empowering yourself to choose better, safer, and happier experiences for you.

Remember, you DO have the power to change your anxious, scared reactions, and by so doing, to become more secure and safe in every way. 

Tara’s Questions for Positive Change:

1. Can you remember when you began feeling anxious? Was it during a particularly stressful time, or was it due to a traumatic event? 
2. In what situations do you feel most unsafe or anxious? When you are in those situation (or just before), remember to use the calming breath above. Then, in a calm state, repeat to yourself, “I am safe. I create my own security.” If you get anxious during the event, remember to go back to the calm breath. Again, putting your hand over your stomach helps to ground your mind and your body and makes an important connection for retuning your reaction in these situations. 

How to Feel Safe: Dealing With Anxiety by Creating Your Own Security and Peace of Mind

Perhaps the greatest stress that you will ever face is the impression that you cannot protect yourself from life itself.

I have certainly had moments like this. A few years ago my husband and I went through two hurricanes, completing renovations on our house, putting it on the market, a cross-country move, and the death of my beloved grandmother all in a four week period (actually, all but one hurricane happened in one week). I have never been so stressed out in my life, and I began to notice that I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next disaster to happen. 

To top it off, I found I had gained about ten pounds in a week, although I hadn’t eaten a thing in days.

I felt exposed and unable to protect myself, and this frequency began to create the physical reactions that I was having. My fight or flight response was so overstimulated that my adrenal glands burned out. My mind was saturated with the idea that life was unsafe, so I manifested padding all over my body to at least soften the energetic blows.

If you carry excess weight in your mid-section, ask yourself why you feel unsafe. Very often, you will feel the answer in your gut immediately. Perhaps you have been hurt by someone close to you, and you are afraid of being hurt again. Maybe you are afraid of being rejected for who you are. Or, perhaps you are at a point of chaos in your life, and you feel that the blows will never stop. Any threat against your physical, emotional, or spiritual self can trigger an imbalance in the core of your body.

While you may feel that you cannot protect yourself, this is never true. As the co-creator of your life, you have the ability to create your own security and your own safe space, even in threatening situations. After all, the more that you identify a particular situation (or all of life) with the expectation, “I am not safe,” the more that you will trigger a fight or flight response in your body. 

Instead, when you find yourself feeling that you are being threatened in any way, bring your awareness to your breath. You will likely notice that you are either holding your breath or it is speeding up, so choose instead to take deep, slow breaths. Breathe in to the count of 5; breathe out to the count of 7. By doing this, you communicate to your mind that you are calm—and your body remains calm. Then, in this calm state, repeat to yourself the new expectation, “I create my own security. I am safe. I am protected.” If you would like to, you can place your hand over your stomach as you do this, further reprogramming your mind to connect your physical state with your mental reality. 

The more you practice this, the more you create new neural programming that you really are safe and that you are able to protect yourself. It also sends out an important message to life itself that you are empowering yourself to choose better, safer, and happier experiences for you. 

Remember, you DO have the power to change your anxious, scared reactions to life, and by so doing, to change the kind of life you have. 

The Flow Method Questions and Actions:

1. Can you remember when you began feeling anxious? Was it during a particularly stressful time, or was it due to a traumatic event?

2. In what situations do you feel most unsafe or anxious? When you are in those situation (or just before), remember to use the calming breath above. Then, in a calm state, repeat to yourself, “I am safe. I create my own security.” If you get anxious during the event, remember to go back to the calm breath. Again, putting your hand over your stomach helps to ground your mind and your body and makes an important connection for retuning your reaction in these situations.

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