Blazing Your Own Trail: You Can Get to Where You Want to Go Any Way You Want To

Have you ever been going along, personal life plan in place, goals in mind, when someone tells you, “That’s not the way to do it! You should do it this way!”?

I should think that you have, as I am certain that it is not possible to be human and to escape this experience. 

As you set forth your goals and go about following your action plan to get them, it is good to be prepared for the so-called “authorities” that will tell you how you should do everything. It seems that each person you encounter will be the expert, telling you “from experience” that you must do it a certain way. Or, they might explain that they “tried everything” and this was the “only thing that worked” for them, to save you the trouble of even trying a new method. Most commonly, you might hear that you cannot accomplish your dreams, that “It’s impossible. It just can’t be done.” 

The next time that you are confronted with this kind of thinking, remember that this attitude would have left us in the stone ages hunting and gathering for our food and wearing fur (or less). 

Please believe me: there are countless ways to do anything. Things that have never been done before are just begging to be brought into being from the Source. I mean, can you imagine how many people told the Wright brothers that flying was impossible? Now it is an everyday occurrence, moving millions of people around the world at every moment. I imagine that Bill Gates had people who thought that he was crazy when he started Microsoft; now he is one of the most powerful and successful men on Earth. I cannot fathom how many people Oprah Winfrey must have encountered that told her that she would never be able to be what she is today. Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Gloria Steinam, and Martin Luther King changed the world because they believed that it could be done. They knew that they could do something that had never been done before, they ignored the naysayers, and they did it. 

The next time that someone tells you that you can’t do whatever it is that you are aiming to do, tell them that they are full of rubbish (in the kindest possible way, please). Go home, turn on the Biography Channel, and watch a few biographies on some famous people. If that is not possible, pick up some autobiographies from the local bookstore. Suddenly, you will see that bringing the seemingly impossible into being in a way that is authentic to you is the only sure path to take. 

For every person who is a successful actor, there are as many different paths that led them to that goal. For every successful entrepreneur, there are as many different ways to find success. For every person who has become President of the United States—not one of them took an identical path to the White House. 

The ways to get to your dreams and goals are as varied as the number of people on the planet. Your life is not identical to anyone else’s; no one else has lived life in the same way, made the same decisions, or taken exactly the same steps as you have. There is no one else in the world exactly like you—and there is never one true path that you must follow to lead you to the life of your dreams. 

Believe in yourself. Make choices that radiate the power inherent within you. Take all actions based on the frequencies matching what you desire to bring into being. Finally, believe that what you dream of is already in reality, because believing in the end result helps to bring it into reality. Stay steadfast in your personal belief and let this flow into being in your life, however it chooses to do so.  

*This article is an excerpt from The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation 

Tara's Questions for Positive Change:

1. Have you ever stopped going after a dream because of other’s opinions? How did that make you feel?
2. Have you tried to follow another’s path, only to find that it was not the right one for you? Is there a new path that you could take that would make you happy?
3. Do you ask many opinions before moving forward on a new project? What might happen if you simply listened to your own mind and gut instinct? Would you have the confidence to do that? How would it feel if you succeeded against the odds?

The 3 Most Common Negative Beliefs Holding You Back, and How to Create a Daily Shift to Develop Confidence and Be More Successful

By Tara Meyer-Robson, Author of The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation

“I will never get this sale.” Jon slumped forward a bit and sighed.

I looked at him and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been conducting a sales training for a company, and Jon was in the audience. He asked terrific questions and seemed to be a positive thinker and a go-getter. At the end of the meeting, he asked to talk with me privately, as he had an important appointment that day and wanted some tips on how to prepare for it. Just from what I had seen of him during the meeting, I expected that he was going to be totally confident in his ability to sell this client. 

“Jon, did you hear what you just said?” I asked gently.

“What?” Jon looked perplexed for a moment. “Oh, yeah - that I won’t get this sale.” He smiled sheepishly as he realized the issue.

I laughed. “Um, didn’t you just sit through my entire presentation on changing the way you speak and think to change the outcome to what you desire?” 

We both laughed and then spent time working on shifting his mindset to prepare for success, however, this moment stuck with me. If someone who had just been totally engaged in learning everything I was teaching could, just moments later, fall right back into a negative pattern, then anyone could.

You see, the truth is that negative thinking is an incredibly invasive bad habit of which most of us are unaware, but causes incredible problems. After all, do you think that Jon would have sold that client if he went into the appointment with the attitude that he wouldn’t get the sale? It isn’t likely.

The same holds true for your life. Do you think you will be as confident and successful as you can be if negative thinking is a habit for you? Not likely here, either.

To help you to break the negative pattern and develop self-esteem and success, here are the three most common negative beliefs and ways to shift them now: 

 

Negative Belief #1: “I don’t deserve better.” 

For many of us, we simply feel that we don’t deserve better than our current situation, which is a definite problem. Why? Because this belief also keeps many of us stuck in situations where we are extremely unhappy, and that's no way to live.

There are many reasons why you might feel this way (which I will deal with in future articles), but for now, no matter who or what told you that you were not worthy of better, it isn’t true. No one deserves to be stuck in an unhappy, stressful life, no matter what anyone else thinks. 

To shift into believing that you are deserving of a happier existence, first define for yourself what that life would look like. What is in your life now that's negative? What would you get rid of? What positive people, experiences, or things would you like to be part of your new life?

Then, once you have this image as clear as you can, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, stand up straight, and begin to say, “I deserve the best in life.” 

As you go through your day, notice if you fall back into an old pattern of believing that you aren’t worthy of the things or people you desire. If you do, simply take a deep breath and say, “I deserve my dreams, and all that is the best in life.” 

 

Negative Belief #2: “I am a failure.”

All too many of us feel like we are failures in one way or another. If this is how you feel, perhaps parents, coaches, teachers, or other people told you that you failed in one way or another. Maybe you tried to start a business and it didn’t work. Or, perhaps you tried diets, self-improvement courses, or success training and did not see the results you wanted. 

Whatever it is, carrying around a feeling of failure is not for your best. So, take this to heart:

You did the best that you could with the beliefs and thoughts that you had at the time. You are different now, and you can choose a different outcome at the present moment.

To begin to shift this negative belief, when you wake in the morning, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a success.” Before important meetings, repeat this statement several times. On your way home from work, make it a mantra that you say over and over. 

Allow this new belief to begin erasing any “failures” of your past. Remember, you cannot go back to the past and redo it, so the only hold it has on you is the one you allow it to have in the present moment. 

Let old stuff go. Replace it with a belief that you are successful and seek experiences that prove it so.

 

Negative Belief #3: “I am not important.”

This negative belief is incredibly prevalent in those that I work with. It’s a real problem, because it causes truly good people to continuously put themselves last; everyone and everything is more important than their needs and goals. Believing that with their whole hearts and souls, they work and work and never give themselves a break. They eat badly because they have no time to slow down. They routinely give to everyone around them, saying “yes” to everyone else’s needs but never fulfilling their own. 

One day, they wake up and realize that they are worn out, overweight, over-stressed, depressed, and have no more to give to anyone else. Then, they call me for help.

While I am more than happy to help you personally, I would love if you could take this lesson to heart before you need to call me for an intervention:

You have a right to take care of yourself, and you even have a right to put yourself first. 

Think about this: If you do not make yourself important to you, how will anyone else value you or your time? How will you have relationships that are true partnerships, rather than one person continuously taking and the other always giving? How will you ever feel fulfilled or get the time to achieve your dreams?

The answer is obvious: You won’t. 

This week, I'd like you to become aware of how often you put yourself last on the list. Do you notice that people around you put you down? Are there people in your life that do not respect you or your time? Who do you support that never supports you? 

As you become aware of this, begin to say to yourself, “I am important.” When you are about to skip lunch again to finish another project for your boss, say, “I am important,” and choose to take a few minutes for yourself. When you are about to take a bath and the phone rings, say “I am important to me,” and let it go to voicemail.

You get the idea. The more that you tell yourself that you are important, the more that you believe it. The more you believe it, the easier it will be to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself in any situation.

Want to be invited for a FREE webinar on Removing Negativity from Your Life (held in January)? 

Simply sign up to get your free meditation above, and I will send you an invite (as well as a free meditation!).

Tara's Questions for Introspection:

1. How hard is it for you to feel that you deserve the best in life? Can you think of times in your life where you were taught that you were unworthy?
2. Do you have failures in your past that are holding you back? Are you afraid of failing again? How might your life be different if you hadn’t had those experiences?
3. Do you feel unimportant? Is this a pattern that you learned from your parents or others? Is it hard for you to even imagine putting yourself first?

5 Ways to Get More Energy Right Now

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Would you like to feel more excitement, passion, and joy in life? Do you just simply desire more energy in your day?

I think we all do. In fact, with all that we do and strive to accomplish every single day, it is extremely difficult to not get run-down and worn out every so often. 

For many of us, our response to our exhaustion is to grab a seriously over-caffeinated drink and to keep on going, jitters and all. (Believe me, I have done this myself!) However, there are many easy-to-do methods to rekindle your inner fire – and naturally get more energy in your body, mind, and life.

Here are some simple tips you can implement right now to see an immediate impact on your energy levels.

Energy Tip #1: Take time to focus on the things that you are grateful for.

Do you go through your day feeling beaten up by life? Have you been overworking with little appreciation for all that you do each day? If so, it is easy to get stuck in a negative mindset – expecting that only negative thing will happen to you, and wearing out your mental state with a total focus on the bad things that seem to happen each day. However, the truth of the matter is that you have many things to be grateful for – you just need to notice them.

To do this, simply take a blank notebook or journal and designate it your “gratitude journal.” Then, each and every day, write down 5 things that you are grateful for that day.

What you will likely find in doing this simple little exercise is that you have a lot more to be grateful for in your life than you may have thought – and you will also begin to retrain your focus to see the positive that is happening in your life. When your mind is convinced that you do have good things happening in your life, you will feel less burdened – and that always allows you to have more positive energy!

Energy Tip #2: Surround yourself with images of people that you love.

How do you feel when you are with those that you love? How about when you come home from a hard day and see your spouse or partner, children, or pets? 

I am willing to bet that you feel energized – the worries of the day seem a bit farther away. So, bring that positive energy right in to your workspace! Make sure that you have pictures of the people or animals that you love, and take time to look at them throughout the day. When you do, simply say to yourself, “I am grateful for your presence in my life,” and allow that feeling of love and gratitude to flow over you. 

Energy Tip #3: Compliment someone. 

Pay attention to those around you, and offer an authentic compliment to someone. Offering a little joy to others always makes their day, and it makes your day, too. Try it and see how much better you feel by giving out a little goodness to others! 

Energy Tip #4: Get away negative people.

Really. Now. We all understand that being with negative, critical people is nothing but trouble for not only our energy levels, but for creating a better life. After all, the more that you are tuned in to a negative frequency, the more negativity you will bring in to your life. 

It is for your best that you limit your interaction with negative people. Find ways to avoid those that are negative, and to be with those that are positive – and notice how much better you feel as a result!

Energy Tip #5: Dream.

What do you really want to do or be? Take 5 minutes to write down exactly what you really desire in your life, and then visualize yourself doing and being that very thing. Make this experience as real as possible, imaging every detail, such as what you will be wearing, how you will feel, what others will be saying or doing, any scents or smells that will be part of this experience, and anything else you think would make the experience real for you. 

After you are done, notice the amount of energy in your body – it is truly amazing what just a few minutes of dreaming will do for you! Better yet, every time that you do this, you tune your mind in to this very reality, allowing that experience to flow right to you! 

Do you have other tips that help you to get more energy when you are feeling low? Please share them with me! 

Did this article help you? Please spread the love and share it on Facebook, Twitter, or to friends. (HUGS) in advance for sharing! 

3 Ways My Gramma VA Influenced My Life, and Lessons that Might Help You, Too.

My grandmother - or "Gramma VA" as my sister and I called her - was truly one of my best friends and biggest supporters. Last week was her birthday, and as I might have done when she was alive, I picked up the phone to call her and wish her a happy day. 

Realizing that I couldn’t, I sat down and pondered the profound influence this feisty little Irish woman had on my life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that while I miss her dearly, the effect she’s had on me means that she lives on in my every moment. I’d like to share a little of her wisdom with you, in the hopes that maybe it hits home for you, too - and a little more of her will be shared with the world. 

Gramma VA-ism #1: Always look good when you go out; you’ll feel better mentally, and that affects everything.

Photo courtesy of CoutureAllure.blogspot.com

A few days after she had a mastectomy, there was fluid in my grandma's lungs and we needed to get her back to the hospital to be checked out. Upon reporting this to her, she sat up, put her feet on the ground, and began putting on her pantyhose. 

Now, one would think that going to the ER was not really the kind of occasion that dictated pantyhose, but for my Gramma, it was unthinkable to go anywhere without looking her best. Although we protested that she really didn’t need to get made up to go to the hospital, she ended up dressing in some velvet pants and a cotton blouse before we were allowed to take her out that day.

The truth is, there is something to that kind of thinking. In fact, a recent study showed that women that were sad or depressed tended to wear baggy tops, jeans, or a sweatshirt. Women that were happy were more likely to put on favorite jewelry, a pretty dress, or nice shoes. 

I think there’s more to it than just that, though. I know on days when I feel off, if I take the extra time to dress myself well in a colorful dress with beautiful jewelry, I actually feel better, too. The author of that study agrees with me: “The strong link between clothing and mood state suggests we should put on clothes that we associate with happiness, even when feeling low,” the study states. 

My Gramma beat that bout of cancer. Do I think that her determination to always dress beautifully had something to do with it? You bet I do. She dressed better, and therefore she felt stronger, more resilient, and more capable of taking control over the disease and healing. 

Take a look at the relationship between how you dress every day and how you feel. Did you used to dress better, but find that now you take little care of yourself? What might have caused that change? Could you find ways to dress a bit better, with the understanding that YOU will feel better, and that will impact the quality of care you can give others, too? 

Try it out; take a little more time tomorrow to dress in a way that really makes you feel good. Then come back and let me know if you feel better emotionally, too! 

 

Gramma VA-ism #2: You are more resilient than you think you are. 

My grandfather died at only 54 years old, leaving my Gramma––who had been a stay-at-home Navy wife for most of her life––all alone. My grandfather had a pension and some life insurance, but it wasn’t enough for her to survive financially for the rest of her life. Worse, she was now alone, without the man that she had loved since her teens.

Rather than giving in to the “hysterics” or “ineptitude” that women of her generation were taught to believe are normal for ladies, she instead gathered herself up, brushed off some old secretarial skills, and went out and got herself a job. I can only imagine that it must have been terrifying for her to have to do that after all those years, but she did it.

Even more impressive, she figured out how to do all those things around the house that were “man’s work”––things my grandfather had always taken care of, like carpentry, plumbing, fixing the garage door, and more. She went down to the basement, opened up my grandfather’s tool box, and started learning how to use all of them. For a woman who had been raised in a generation that felt that women were unsuited for anything but gossiping and having babies, this was pretty impressive.

Fiercely independent, she showed me the possibility that a woman could do just about anything she put her mind to, age or gender be damned. She even mowed her own lawn, shoveled her own snow, and moved her own furniture around until into her 80’s. Believe me, she had plenty of people who thought she couldn’t do it or shouldn’t do it, but she decided she could, and she did. 

To me, she is a reminder of how resilient humans truly are, and how important it is to take personal responsibility for ourselves and the quality of our lives, regardless of our circumstances. Are you too dependent on anything or anyone? What ways could you challenge yourself to step up and do things you haven’t done before? Try a few today; you might just surprise yourself, and inspire someone else along the way.  

 

Gramma VA-ism #3: Life is short; remember to enjoy yourself.

About a year and a half into my marriage, I was helping to run one business while getting a second business up and running. Being way too serious for my own good and worrying about everything being a “success,” I worked and worked and worked, finally getting really exhausted. 

One night, I called my grandma to check on her, and she asked how I was doing. After rambling off a litany of business projects and things that needed completed, she asked, “And what are you doing for fun?”

It stopped me in my tracks, as I realized that I hadn’t really made time for fun in the process of trying to create a better future life. 

Then she said, “Honey, life is really, really short. You need to stop and have some fun and enjoy yourself now, because you will regret it when you get older.” 

You know how some moments stick out as life changers? That was one of them for me. I cannot tell you how often I get going, totally focused on achieving whatever goal I’ve set out for myself, and suddenly hear my Gramma’s voice in my head, “Life is short, honey.” 

And before all you driven workaholics out there say, “But I won’t get as much done if I take breaks, stop to go to the gym, or actually take a vacation,” stop right there; research refutes that completely. In fact, a recent study shows that even little breaks - a walk around the block, stopping to read a friendly note, or running out for coffee––can make you significantly more productive. In fact, the study’s author proved that, “sustained attention to a thought (leads) to that thought's disappearance from our mind.”

Photo courtesy of NASAAnd hey, they say that Einstein conceived his Theory of Relativity while riding a bike, so you just might end up getting the perfect solution for whatever goal or problem your dealing with while, I don’t know, sipping a margarita poolside or taking a walk on the beach. 

Take my Gramma VA’s advice now; go have a little fun. Let yourself be happy. Don’t work so hard; enjoy the present moment. By doing so, you won’t end up at the end of your life with these common regrets; and you’ll likely live longer, too. 

What can you do this weekend to blow off some steam and enjoy yourself? Put down the computer, turn off the phone, and go do it. Then, come back and let me know how much better you feel on Monday...