3 powerful actions to connect with your dreams

Attaining your dream life can seem impossible, especially if you’ve worked and worked and it’s just not happening.

But there is an easier way to connect with the life of your dreams, and it has nothing to do with how many times you’ve tried and “failed.”

It’s all about frequency and our connection with the creative force that is “the source" (you might call it God, Yahweh, Allah, the Goddess - it’s all the same).

So, here are my three tips for connecting with the dream life you KNOW you deserve:

Step 1: Believe in your connection to a higher power/source. Make choices that radiate the power within you that is always connected to - and part of - the power that creates.

We are all one, and I don’t mean that figuratively. We are one with the power that creates all that is in our world and universe and whatever is beyond that.

Science has proven that there is an underlying wave nature to reality that gives birth to everything we see, feel, experience, and anything else. It’s called quantum potential, and it’s truly just potential. It’s just wave until we interact with it and allow things to pop forth from our own personal choices and the frequency of those choices.

That means that you aren’t just sitting around for things to happen to you or not. It isn’t just a game of luck or fate. You are PART of the force that creates everything in the universe.

Looking at it that way, take that power seriously. Make all your choices with the awareness that you are literally helping to create that experience. Is that an experience that you want to create? Is it one that seems like it is in alignment with the life of your dreams? Is it in experience that uplifts the world? Or depletes it?

The choice is yours. The power is yours. Use it wisely.

Step 2: Take all actions based on the frequencies matching what you desire to bring into being.

Since we are all connected to and part of quantum potential at every moment, that also means that, under it all, we are waves floating around at our own frequency and affecting the frequency of the entire universe with the actions, words, and thoughts we send out.

The frequency of those things actually affects the entire universe and what you experience in your life.

Because of that, you aren’t separate from the life of your dreams. You aren’t separate from anything you desire in your life. You can’t be, because no wave is separate from all the other waves. It’s impossible to be disconnected.

So, when you think anything, it’s a radio signal that creates a frequency that either tunes you in to the life of your dreams, or away from it. When you speak, you are creating a vibration that either resonates with all the good you want in the world, or it resonates with negativity. When you take actions, they are either of the frequency that aligns you with the life of your dreams, or away from it.

If you want to shift the quality of your life, shift your thoughts, words, and actions to be in alignment with how you would feel if you had all of that in your life right now. How would you act if you were living the life of your dreams? What would you think? What would your life look like? How would you dress?

Take actions mindfully. Take actions that align with the way you want to feel when you are living the life of your dreams. Take actions that align with how you want the world to be.

Do that over and over and you ARE aligning with the life you desire. The more you align, the more things pop into being in your life that show you that you are on the right path.

Step 3: Believe that the life you desire is already in reality, because it is. Stay steadfast in that belief. Let it flow into being however it chooses to.

One thing that I struggle with is allowing enough room in my personal goals to allow experiences that may be different than what I thought I wanted, but are, more often than not, even better.

I get an idea in my head that the life of my dreams HAS to look like this or feel like that or be like this exact thing.

You (I) gotta let go of that.

You have to set your intentions and take your actions in alignment with the general frequency of what you desire, then allow enough room to RECEIVE experiences that match that. If you are always focused on only ONE thing being THE thing, then there is no room for the universe/quantum potential/the source/a higher power to bring in things that match that frequency (and might be even more awesome!), but aren’t that exact thing.

So, sometimes stop doing. Stop focusing on only that one thing. Take a breath and know that when you align your thoughts, words, actions, and emotions with the life you desire, your desires are being co-created with the source by you and with you. They may not look exactly as you thought they would, but if you allow them, they will be exactly what you really wanted.

If you’d like to dive deeper into this, I will be opening my Manifest Your Dream Life Academy this week; it will to be totally free - it’s my gift to help more and more people raise their own frequency, life the life of their dreams, and raise the frequency of the whole world so our whole world is living better, too.

Sign up below:

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If you’d like to dive in right now and pinpoint any unconscious beliefs that are tuning you into negative patterns, pain, and disease, grab my award-winning book now!

The Flow Method:: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation

By Meyer-Robson, Tara

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Are You Threadbare? 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Personal Power and Set Healthy Boundaries (Part 2)

Yesterday, I wrote about needing to make myself a first priority in order to regain some sense of personal power and not feel so threadbare (I'm hoping you've taken this message to heart, too!). Here’s the second lesson I have learned (and actions I am taking to change):

#2: No matter how much you want to help, ultimately, other people are responsible for themselves.

Someone comes to you and says she's hurting. Or stuck. Or in a bad situation and doesn’t know what to do. Or simply needs help. 

What do you do? If you are like me, you jump in with both feet, throw yourself into helping, and take on the whole issue as if it were your issue, often staying up late worrying and going to any length in the mission to fix the problem. 

And then it happens: You realize the person may say she wants help, but she doesn’t actually want to put in the time to help herself. Or, she might want you to just fix it all for her. Or, she might actually not really want to fix the situation - she likes the drama, sadness, chaos, or whatever. 

But, you said you would help (and you've now taken this on as your personal problem and responsibility), so you spend a lot of time either trying to convince her to take some positive action, or you get fed up and just fix the whole thing for her.

Either way, you’ve just wasted time and energy on solving her issues, but you are left with so much stress and exhaustion that you don’t have the energy to try to make your own life better or deal with things that are important to you. 

If this sounds like you, it’s time for a little tough love (and let me tell you, I kicked my own behind for this one, too!):

Solving other’s problems for them does not work. Helping someone who doesn’t help him or herself doesn’t work. Fixing issues that others’ don’t really want fixed doesn’t work. 

No matter how good your intentions are, it truly doesn’t end well for anyone.

Imagine this: Your friend (lover, boss, grown child, etc) is caught in an angry ocean without a boat. She can’t swim, so you throw a rope out. She ignores the rope. You bring out a helicopter. She waves it away. You call out the coast guard. She says that she’s afraid of boats and won’t get in. So, thinking you are helping (also known as the “last act of a kind but self-defeating person”), you jump in, grab your friend, and start swimming for shore. 

Instead of being grateful, your friend fights you every stroke of the way, kicking and flailing and working against you in the most disruptive, exhausting ways. Or, she simply refuses to even try to swim, telling you (tearfully) why she can’t or won’t try to help - that you need to do it for her.

What do you suppose would happen at this point? Is it possible that you somehow have enough strength to lug your seriously resistant friend and yourself to the shore? Sure, it’s possible, but not likely.

The much more likely scenario is that you become exhausted from all that effort, and you both drown. 

If you are trying to help people that will not help themselves or will not participate in solving their own problems, you are doing exactly this, and I am telling you (from experience), you will eventually sink under the weight of it.

Or - hey - I’m an optimist! Let’s look at the ridiculously positive view for a second. Let’s just say that you DO actually, somehow, against all odds, fix the problem and save her from herself. You know what you have actually succeeded in doing? You’ve successfully made her dependent on you, which means that the next time she's in a pickle, guess who she's calling? (And rest assured, there will be another, breath-takingly similar pickle.)

There’s a couple of problems here:  

1. Your friend (lover, boss, grown child) doesn’t learn the lesson because he or she suffered no consequences, felt little pain, and made no effort. This pretty much guarantees he or she will repeat the experience (or upgrade to a worse one). And, if she actually kinda likes the experience (no matter how much she says she doesn't), she'll actively seek another one out.
2. Your intentions might be great, but you’ve actually robbed her of the satisfaction of actually solving her own problem, unintentionally creating a sense of helplessness and a feeling of being incapable of effectively saving herself. Essentially, she's just learned that the best she can do is do the dead man’s float in life, rather than learn how to swim - because, after all, she's incapable of learning to swim and someone else will pick up her mess and drag her to shore anyway.

Sometimes you have to let people fall flat on their faces in order to learn a key lesson to create a better life or stop making bad choices. Sometimes, it’s got to get to the point that leaving the situation is less painful than staying for real change to happen. If people never feel pain, they don’t change - there’s no reason to. If you are always saving the day, never letting the person have to really feel the pain of the experience or his or her decisions, you are actually almost guaranteeing that he or she will stay stuck in the experience (which is kind of the opposite of what you intended to do!). 

Think about it this way: when you successfully face a difficulty, obstacle, or tough situation for yourself, summoning up the courage to deal with it and get through it, don’t you feel stronger and more capable?

You do. You know you do. It’s the same reason that cancer survivors wear ribbons and shirts and do 4-day walks and help those going through the disease. It’s the reason that you can sit with your child and tell him that you truly do understand how it feels to be bullied, teaching from the heart how to deal with it. It’s the reason that you can help someone get out of an abusive relationship, because you know what you needed to hear to finally leave. 

By participating actively in solving your own problems and issues - side by side with anyone helping you - you strengthen yourself in ways that allow you to be more resilient, capable, and self-confident. You’ve been there, done that and can help others get through, too. 

So, next time someone asks you to swoop in and solve their problems for them, remember this. Don’t you really want them to have that sense of satisfaction and strength? 

And, if someone won’t participate in their own solutions or healing, you must walk away. It’s not good for you to go down with the ship. It doesn’t prove anything at all that you have given until you fall over. It robs you of the life you are supposed to be leading and it’s time that you could use for someone or something else.

I know this is so hard. It’s a badge of honor when you miraculously fix the unfixable. It’s addictive to think that so many people need you. It feeds that place in you that longs to be loved and wanted and admired. 

I get it. I have the same hunger within me. 

It’s time to feed it something different. It’s time to feed your soul by releasing those that are sucking your energy dry. It’s time to focus on letting go of the notion that you somehow created everyone’s problems and are responsible for solving them. It’s time to use your energy to strengthen you and your life so that you can go on to make the difference in the world that you are intended to make.

So, repeat after me: “I did not create other’s problems. I cannot fix their problems for them. I can only be there to listen, to offer support, and to give only as much time and energy as they are putting in to helping themselves. It's okay for me to release those that drain my energy and refuse to help themselves.” 

Repeat that a lot. It helps. It really does. This should really be your new go-to affirmation.

Have you ever helped someone that didn’t want the help? Or solved everything for someone, over and over? Maybe you broke the over-helping habit? I’d love to hear your stories! 

Part 3 tomorrow - and it is a doozy (you will not believe what I just went through from setting one simple, seemingly innocent boundary)! 

Flow Method Actions to Implement:

Take a look at those that you are helping that continuously require that you save them or clean up their messes. Set a mental boundary right now that the next time they ask, you say “no.” Let them know that you will help them and support them, but you will not do it for them again. Hold fast and remember that it may be painful now, but you will feel better and so will they in the long run.

Repeat the affirmation above over and over. You won’t buy it at first, but eventually, you will start to feel stronger; at that point, things start to shift.

Are You Threadbare? 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Personal Power, Stop Being Overwhelmed, and Set Healthy Boundaries

I’ve been noticing a strange thing lately: many of my favorite pieces of clothing have strings coming loose. It’s not that it’s never happened - everyone’s had one or two errant strings dangling here or there - but rather the amount of loose strings. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when so many of my clothes are suddenly unraveling all at once. 

And then it dawned on me: Maybe this is a metaphor for my life. Maybe I am “coming apart at the seams” or feeling like my “stitches are coming undone.” 

Oddly, this is precisely what I have been feeling lately. From the pressures of helping to build a start-up company to keeping up with my own business to trying to be the best wife, daughter, sister, entrepreneur, employee, dog owner, friend, or human that anyone has ever seen, I am feeling very much like I’m fraying at the edges. 

And, just like a thread slowly pulling out stitch by stitch, my overwhelmed feelings didn’t come overnight. Rather, it’s little things - little snags - that have added up over time. 

A few stitches pulled out every time I said, “Sure! I can pull off another miracle for you!” 

Five or six came out each moment I ignored my own needs in order to put others’ needs first. 

A few more popped out when I knew I was seriously overworked and overwhelmed, but let myself get talked into doing even more, instead of less. 

More came undone in each of the 4 (!) moves we went through in the last year alone. I acted like I did okay with it, but the truth is it wore me out.

Half a sleeve’s worth ripped out living in a place where angry dogs chased us every time we walked out the door, and neighbors refused to speak to us (not exactly the “southern hospitality” that one might hope for).

And frankly, some people in my life always have a solid grip on a thread or two, just waiting to pull a few more out, simply because they can.

With all of this, I was becoming seriously threadbare. 

Worse, all this tugging and unraveling and not taking care of myself had been showing up in my body. First, there was an irregular heartbeat a few months back. More recently, I had several days of migraines with strange twitching all over my body. To top it off, I was tested for adrenal burnout, which showed that I now had the adrenal response of an 88 year old woman. Not good.

As I stared now at the thread dangling from the arm of my favorite green dress, I knew it was time to make a change (actually, it was well past time to make a change). So, in the interest of helping you if you are feeling like you are frayed and coming apart, here are 3 behaviors I am implementing immediately:

#1: Stop being everything to everyone, and be everything to yourself first.

My entire life I have focused on serving others to the exclusion of my own needs. I don’t make the income I should at the moment because I have constantly given away everything that I do, often helping others before I ever help myself. Somehow, I believed this was the right or good thing to do, when the truth is that a person who doesn’t accept energy back for their efforts - whether it is money, stuff, or whatever - cannot keep doing what they are doing. However, I didn’t know how to stop. I gave and gave and gave and gave. 

As more and more people had the end of a string that I was willingly giving them, I was wearing seriously thin.

It seems good and satisfying to be that kind of person, but at the end of the day, if you don’t take care of yourself first, you won't be around to take care of others. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow, but there will be a day when you will wake up and realize that you have nothing left to give. 

That’s a bad day for everyone.

I once had a coach friend of mine tell me, “I always tell leaders that it’s a crime if they do not take care of themselves. After all, if the leader breaks down, it is a total disservice to those that are following him or her - they are left without a guide, and that is irresponsible.” 

She was right. I don’t care who you are, you are leading someone. You may be a mom leading your family. You may be a dog owner leading your dog. You may be a coach or teacher leading a bunch of kids. You may be a manager or entrepreneur leading a team of people. You may be a speaker or writer with people that follow what you say. No matter what, there are people looking up to you.

What happens when, with all of your good intentions of helping people, you finally fall apart? What happens to all these people you care about so much? Who will help them? 

If you are not there to give, to help, to lead, then all those counting on you are suddenly on their own, fending for themselves. 

Wouldn’t it be better if you took care of yourself, doing what you HUMANLY can do for those you care about but setting realistic and healthy boundaries so that you can keep doing what you do best? 

It would. You know it would. Start making yourself a first priority right now.

Part 2 tomorrow! Until then, have you ever felt seriously threadbare? What did you do to help yourself? How did you reclaim your personal power?

Flow Method Action to Implement:

Say "no" to three things this week, and in the time that you would have used for doing those things, do things that are a priority for you or your business instead. Make a note to yourself of how you feel. Do you feel less ovewhelmed simply in the act of saying "no?" Is saying "no" overwhelming at first?

3 Big Relationship Mistakes - And How to Stop Making Them & Find Your Soulmate (Part 3)

Big Mistake #3: Picking a mate based only on looks or other material things. 

This was never really an issue for me - as I said before, I tended to look to the heart of the person - but I have a lot of people who come to me for relationship help that tell me that they picked the person because of their looks, money, big house, fast car, etc.  

Guess what? In the long run, these things do not create a foundation for a truly fulfilling, unconditionally loving, soulmate relationship. In fact, with the people that I have worked with, they become sort of a “golden handcuffs” that ties the person to a relationship they are miserable in, simply because they are addicted to the lifestyle, the money, the social position, or whatever else it might be.  

Listen, life is incredibly short. At the end of your life, are you going to look back and be happy with yourself because you stayed with a person that makes you miserable because you wanted things? Or are you going to wish that you had chosen a person that unconditionally supported and loved you? 

Only you can answer that. What I can tell you is that a life lived with your soulmate - a person who matches you on every level - is almost indescribably wonderful.  

You can find out more of my story and how you can break negative patterns and find your soulmate by watching the video below: