How to Get Through a Bad Day: 4 Simple Ways to Feel Better Now

When you are in the middle of a gut-wrenchingly awful, pound-your-head-into-the-wall-terrible kind of day, it's hard to imagine that you might be able to make it better. 

Well, you can. Here are a few coping tactics I've employed on the most awful of days (and none involve knocking anyone's lights out or drinking a bottle of vodka!):

1. Breathe

When you are having a bad day, one of the first things you do is tense up. When you tense up, you unknowingly hold your breath. When you hold your breath, you feel less capable of being able to function. When you feel less capable of functioning, you get more tense and hold your breath. (Not a good cycle!) 

Stop right now and do this:

Close your eyes and put your dominant hand (the one you write with) over your solar plexus (about two fingers under your ribcage). Inhale slowly to the count of five, concentrating on pushing your hand out as you inhale into your stomach. Exhale out to the count of seven, concentrating on pulling your hand back in (or pulling your stomach toward your spine). Do this at least 10 times. 

Open your eyes when you are ready.

Feel refreshed and more in control of yourself? It's likely you do. Research has show that breathing deeply throughout the day has a huge list of health benefits! 

2. Take a Walk

Are you one of those people who chains themselves to their desks, never getting up until a project is finished or an issue solved? If there is an emergency at work, do you work through lunch?

If so, you are not alone. I'm guilty of doing this, too, believing that somehow pushing harder on a bad day would make me more productive or help me to force a solution to whatever problem I was facing. 

You know what this attitude actually does? Makes you sicker, less energetic, and WAY more stressed out. 

Worse, when you are pushing all the time, you can't get solutions that are trying to come through to you. In fact, what you are really doing is concentrating so hard on building a wall that will be strong enough to overcome whatever you are dealing with that you are blocking all the helper thoughts and people and possible solutions from getting anywhere near you.

My solution is simple: I know you don't want to, but go take a walk for at least 15 minutes. Let your mind relax. Focus on the sounds of nature or cars or whatever might be in your area. Breathe deeply.

Don't be surprised if you start getting "aha!" moments while you are wandering around. Once you take your focus away from the problem, your mind can connect to solutions. 

3. Smile

Try it right now: Smile really big. Hold it...hold it...hold it... 

Now, notice your mood. Do you feel a bit uplifted? A bit happier? 

Very likely you do! When smile - even when you don't feel like it - you send signals to your brain that you are happy. In fact, neurotransmitters called endorphins (you know, the feel good chemicals) are released when you smile. It's a great way to feel better (and it's a whole lot safer) than Prozac!

There are a lot more benefits to smiling, but the best one is that you feel better - and so do those around you! 

4. Listen to Music

As a dancer for most of my life, music is absolutely essential to me. In fact, I think music is really what emotions sound like, whether happy, sad, excited, or mellow. 

If I really want to feel better fast, I jump in my Mini Cooper, roll down the windows, and put on some Pink, Cher, LL Cool J, or Justin Timberlake. I find that fast-paced music with a heavy beat seems to pump my mood up best of all. (Dancing around in my seat while singing at the top of my lungs doesn't hurt, either!)

Whatever music makes you feel happy, put that on. Smile. Sing. Dance like nobody's watching. 

After about 10 minutes, life will seem a whole lot brighter. 

While I can tell you that this works from experience, there's scientific proof, too. In fact, music releases dopamine (one of the other feel good chemicals in the brain), and that means you are feeling on top of the world in no time! 

What are your secrets to getting through a bad day? 

The 3 Most Common Negative Beliefs Holding You Back, and How to Create a Daily Shift to Develop Confidence and Be More Successful

By Tara Meyer-Robson, Author of The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation

“I will never get this sale.” Jon slumped forward a bit and sighed.

I looked at him and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been conducting a sales training for a company, and Jon was in the audience. He asked terrific questions and seemed to be a positive thinker and a go-getter. At the end of the meeting, he asked to talk with me privately, as he had an important appointment that day and wanted some tips on how to prepare for it. Just from what I had seen of him during the meeting, I expected that he was going to be totally confident in his ability to sell this client. 

“Jon, did you hear what you just said?” I asked gently.

“What?” Jon looked perplexed for a moment. “Oh, yeah - that I won’t get this sale.” He smiled sheepishly as he realized the issue.

I laughed. “Um, didn’t you just sit through my entire presentation on changing the way you speak and think to change the outcome to what you desire?” 

We both laughed and then spent time working on shifting his mindset to prepare for success, however, this moment stuck with me. If someone who had just been totally engaged in learning everything I was teaching could, just moments later, fall right back into a negative pattern, then anyone could.

You see, the truth is that negative thinking is an incredibly invasive bad habit of which most of us are unaware, but causes incredible problems. After all, do you think that Jon would have sold that client if he went into the appointment with the attitude that he wouldn’t get the sale? It isn’t likely.

The same holds true for your life. Do you think you will be as confident and successful as you can be if negative thinking is a habit for you? Not likely here, either.

To help you to break the negative pattern and develop self-esteem and success, here are the three most common negative beliefs and ways to shift them now: 

 

Negative Belief #1: “I don’t deserve better.” 

For many of us, we simply feel that we don’t deserve better than our current situation, which is a definite problem. Why? Because this belief also keeps many of us stuck in situations where we are extremely unhappy, and that's no way to live.

There are many reasons why you might feel this way (which I will deal with in future articles), but for now, no matter who or what told you that you were not worthy of better, it isn’t true. No one deserves to be stuck in an unhappy, stressful life, no matter what anyone else thinks. 

To shift into believing that you are deserving of a happier existence, first define for yourself what that life would look like. What is in your life now that's negative? What would you get rid of? What positive people, experiences, or things would you like to be part of your new life?

Then, once you have this image as clear as you can, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, stand up straight, and begin to say, “I deserve the best in life.” 

As you go through your day, notice if you fall back into an old pattern of believing that you aren’t worthy of the things or people you desire. If you do, simply take a deep breath and say, “I deserve my dreams, and all that is the best in life.” 

 

Negative Belief #2: “I am a failure.”

All too many of us feel like we are failures in one way or another. If this is how you feel, perhaps parents, coaches, teachers, or other people told you that you failed in one way or another. Maybe you tried to start a business and it didn’t work. Or, perhaps you tried diets, self-improvement courses, or success training and did not see the results you wanted. 

Whatever it is, carrying around a feeling of failure is not for your best. So, take this to heart:

You did the best that you could with the beliefs and thoughts that you had at the time. You are different now, and you can choose a different outcome at the present moment.

To begin to shift this negative belief, when you wake in the morning, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a success.” Before important meetings, repeat this statement several times. On your way home from work, make it a mantra that you say over and over. 

Allow this new belief to begin erasing any “failures” of your past. Remember, you cannot go back to the past and redo it, so the only hold it has on you is the one you allow it to have in the present moment. 

Let old stuff go. Replace it with a belief that you are successful and seek experiences that prove it so.

 

Negative Belief #3: “I am not important.”

This negative belief is incredibly prevalent in those that I work with. It’s a real problem, because it causes truly good people to continuously put themselves last; everyone and everything is more important than their needs and goals. Believing that with their whole hearts and souls, they work and work and never give themselves a break. They eat badly because they have no time to slow down. They routinely give to everyone around them, saying “yes” to everyone else’s needs but never fulfilling their own. 

One day, they wake up and realize that they are worn out, overweight, over-stressed, depressed, and have no more to give to anyone else. Then, they call me for help.

While I am more than happy to help you personally, I would love if you could take this lesson to heart before you need to call me for an intervention:

You have a right to take care of yourself, and you even have a right to put yourself first. 

Think about this: If you do not make yourself important to you, how will anyone else value you or your time? How will you have relationships that are true partnerships, rather than one person continuously taking and the other always giving? How will you ever feel fulfilled or get the time to achieve your dreams?

The answer is obvious: You won’t. 

This week, I'd like you to become aware of how often you put yourself last on the list. Do you notice that people around you put you down? Are there people in your life that do not respect you or your time? Who do you support that never supports you? 

As you become aware of this, begin to say to yourself, “I am important.” When you are about to skip lunch again to finish another project for your boss, say, “I am important,” and choose to take a few minutes for yourself. When you are about to take a bath and the phone rings, say “I am important to me,” and let it go to voicemail.

You get the idea. The more that you tell yourself that you are important, the more that you believe it. The more you believe it, the easier it will be to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself in any situation.

Want to be invited for a FREE webinar on Removing Negativity from Your Life (held in January)? 

Simply sign up to get your free meditation above, and I will send you an invite (as well as a free meditation!).

Tara's Questions for Introspection:

1. How hard is it for you to feel that you deserve the best in life? Can you think of times in your life where you were taught that you were unworthy?
2. Do you have failures in your past that are holding you back? Are you afraid of failing again? How might your life be different if you hadn’t had those experiences?
3. Do you feel unimportant? Is this a pattern that you learned from your parents or others? Is it hard for you to even imagine putting yourself first?

Believing in Your Worth: The Secret to Finally Feeling Worthy of the Success, Love, and Joy You Desire

Think of someone who you consider to be very successful, perhaps someone that you strive to be more like. Do you think that you are equal to them? Do you think that you deserve the same success that they do?  

You should, but you probably don’t. You likely assume that they must be made of something intrinsically better than you are, and this allows them to be more deserving of success and abundance.  

But here’s the thing: Everything in the entire world is made of particles, and all particles are exactly the same. They are a lot like the legos of the universe; particles make up your body, stars in the sky, the chair you are sitting on - everything.

This means that at a particle level, the people you admire are made of the exact same building blocks that you are. Because of this, there is nothing different about a Bill Gates or an Oprah Winfrey than you. They do not have, on any physical level, any better particles than you do. Truth be told, you could exchange yourself as humans, and it would literally not matter at all in the grand scheme of things.  

The idea of the from-a-better-family woman or the better-bred man is totally ridiculous. No particle is preprogrammed with any information at all—there are no rich or poor particles, no brilliant or idiotic particles, there is nothing pretty or ugly about them. At the particle level there is no race, no religious affiliation, no blood line, no genetics, no predisposition to weight or disease or anything else; there is literally no distinction between them at all. They are all a blank slate, and are distributed to everyone equally. 

So, the next time that you feel that you “just don’t have what it takes,” or that you “don’t deserve better than you have now,” you just remember this: You are equal to everyone else—even the most successful, happy people you know..  

Your particles have come together to form the person that you are, and the collection that is “you” has every ability to have an amazing life just as you are. You do not need to change anything about yourself to deserve that success; you just need to decide that you are good enough to have it! 

Don’t believe me? Really look around at the kinds of people that have a life that you envy. Do they all look alike? Are they all intelligent? I am willing to bet that some of them are the guys that you knew in college who would dare each other to run around the quad naked! Now, they own multi-million dollar companies and hold public office. If anyone was not able to achieve any level of success that they wanted, then these guys would be jobless and living in their parents’ basements, not running huge corporations and making public policy!

So think about it this way: If they have the particles necessary to make it big in this world, then you certainly do! 

The meaning of all of this? Your particles are as good as anyone else’s; therefore, you are every bit as worthy and important and fascinating as anyone else is—and as completely deserving of a totally wonderful life.

Do you feel worthy of success and happiness? If not, was there ever a time when you did? 

Do you know someone that could benefit from this article? Please share the love on Facebook, Twitter, and e-mail. 

Tara's Questions for Positive Change: 

1. Were you ever told that other people had “better breeding” or a “better bloodline” than you? How did this make you feel? Can you now see that this is not a true statement, based on the science of particles?
2. Have there been times in your life when you felt that other people were better or more deserving than you? When did you feel this way? 
3. When you think about living the life of your dreams, do you still fear that you aren’t worthy or don’t have what it takes? If so, use this retuning statement: “I am as deserving of my success as anyone else. I am made up of good stuff, and I can use my mind and my actions to create the life of my dreams.” Repeat this statement as often as you like. The more you do it, the more that it will create a new program in your mind, which then shifts your reality.

*This article is an excerpt from my book, The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation

Self-Love: How Changing Negative Self-Talk Helps You Succeed (and Heal)

“I just never feel that I am good enough.” 

“I feel like a failure.”

“I hate myself.”

“I don’t ever stand up for myself.”

“I have made so many mistakes.”

“I will never be able to be better than I am today.”

Do you relate to these statements? If so, you aren’t alone. In my work helping people to break negative patterns and achieve their goals, I would say 90% of my clients have uttered something along these lines. Worse, low self-esteem is at the heart of many, many of the issues they have, whether they are dealing with negative life experiences or have difficult health issues, such as ulcers, kidney stones, or gaining weight in the stomach.  

While feelings of low self-worth are enormously prevalent, the truth is that most of us hide it fairly well. Sure, there will be times when these kinds of thoughts will actually be voiced to someone else, but more often than not, you injure yourself in private, only allowing the inner bully to beat you up in your mind. Unfortunately, a lot of harm is done this way. After all, the more that you put yourself down, the more you believe it. The more you believe it, the more you will continue to attract self-defeating and self-sabotaging experiences. 

First, to find out how much of a habit negative self-talk is, I would like you to look into a mirror (or just think about looking into a mirror). What are the first thoughts that come to your mind? Are they loving thoughts? Or do you begin to nitpick at yourself, thinking about how you look awful, have wrinkles, are too fat, or whatever other horrible things you might say to yourself?

If you are like so many I have worked with, I am guessing the negative voices overtake the positive ones every time. 

Now ask yourself, “What experiences am I avoiding because I don’t feel good enough?” “How am I holding myself back in life?” “What relationships in my life reinforce my negative feelings about myself?”

And finally, “How would my life be different if I felt really, really good about myself?”

The answer to these questions will show you how important it is to develop a healthy sense of self-worth, as the life you live now is likely quite different from the one you would be living if you felt truly confident.

The good news is that helping people to build their self-confidence in order to go after the life of their dreams is a passion of mine! On this site, you will find a treasure chest of effective resources, exercises, and articles that will help you to build true confidence and feel like a new, improved, more self-assured version of yourself.

All of these resources will help you to feel more confident in all areas of your life, however, you must take the time to actually do the exercises and questions. After all, you likely have held negative beliefs about yourself for most of your life, so it does take time and work to get rid of them.

However, the small amount of work that this involves pays a big payout: You will feel more confident, attract better relationships, feel safer in any situation, be healthier and happier, and be able to truly go after the life of your dreams without reservation. 

Sounds good? Alright, then don’t waste anymore time feeling like you are less than you are. Get going on becoming the confident, empowered person you were meant to be!

Do you know someone that would benefit from reading this article? Please share the love and share it...much gratitude to you for doing so!! 

Tara's Questions for Positive Change: 

1. What are the most negative things you say about yourself? Can you remember when you began to feel that way? Did someone in your life use those words to criticize you? 
2. In what ways are you holding yourself back because you don’t feel good enough? 
3. Have you had relationships where you were emotionally, physically, or verbally abused? How did this experience change your feelings about yourself? Please note: If you are in an abusive relationship now, please see our “crisis center” for links to resources to help you to leave the situation. Also, please feel free to ask to be connected to a therapist or other clinician to assist you. Remember, you are not alone. You can find help - just ask.
4. How would your life be different right now if you felt really, really good about yourself? Write down this vision of your empowered life. Keep this vision with you (in a private location) and read it daily as inspiration to continue doing the work to build your self-confidence.